In a surprising turn of events, world leaders have begun contemplating a new Olympic event: Competitive Military Austerity. The unconventional sport was brought into consideration after global military spending skyrocketed to a record-high of $2.24 trillion in 2022, spurred by a policy U-turn in Europe. "Instead of war, we could just hold an international competition to see which nation can save the most money on military spending," suggested an anonymous policymaker. "Think of it like a reverse arms race, where everyone tries to outdo each other in cutting down their military budget." The rules of Competitive Military Austerity are still being ironed out, but preliminary discussions revolve around a points system based on budgets cuts, disarmament, and reallocating resources to non-military-focused sectors such as education, healthcare, and sustainable energy. Competitive Military Austerity has already gained traction among world leaders, with some even citing the potential to replace or join the ranks of the Winter and Summer Olympics. "There's something truly poetic about replacing military parades with Olympic-size games of budget-cutting," remarked a diplomat during negotiations. "It could even begin a tradition of 'bipartisan disarmament,' where political opponents come together to slash military budgets and prove their commitment to peace." Further suggestions for the sport include the introduction of 'Mascots of Austerity,' where countries create endearing characters that represent their approach to cutting military spending, such as France's proposed "Frugal Frog" and Russia's "Pennywise Putin." Sources hint that the International Olympic Committee (IOC) is exploring the addition of more peace-centric events alongside Competitive Military Austerity, such as diplomatic speed dating, synchronized peace treaty signings, and demilitarized zone hopscotch. In a world plagued by insecurity and strife, the idea of national leaders abandoning their military ambitions in favor of budget-slashing sportsmanship has struck a chord. It's unclear whether Competitive Military Austerity will make its debut in upcoming Olympic Games, but one thing's for certain: citizens worldwide are cheering for a gold medal in peace.