In a development dripping with sizzling dollops of irony, citizens across the United States have showered an unusual torrent of applause on Douglas County, Nevada. "Rapturous" hardly begins to describe the intensity of the applause, comparable in some corners of the internet to middle school girls at a Justin Bieber concert. This unexpected adulation follows a recent declaration by the Douglas County Board of Supervisors. The agenda for the day should have been mundane, perhaps eternally riveting discussions over potholes and parking regulations. Instead, the board decided to pass a resolution, making it unlawful for any business to mandate COVID vaccinations as a prerequisite to employment. Yes, dear readers, you read it right. A governmental body in the Land of the Free told private businesses what they can and cannot require of their employees in a global pandemic. How delicately American, wouldn't you say? There's a delicious serving of irony, tossed with a smidgen of eye-watering hypocrisy, garnished with a pinch of outright defiance against logic and science. Some praise the decision, calling it a triumph for individual rights. Others, on the contrary, have slapped their foreheads so hard at the news that they've had to check for concussions. There's a distinct aroma of 1776 in the air, evocative of foreign monarchs and rebellions — except, instead of a Boston Tea Party, it's a "Douglas Jab Party." In this thunderous ovation, one might just barely detect some clapping louder than the others. It’s the founding fathers from beyond the grave, whose heads are spinning so fast in their coffins they've practically invented the postmortem centrifuge. Their delirious giggling resonates like church bells on Sunday, saluting the misinterpreted spirit of the constitution. Timothy Fargo, a local store owner said, "Support for my right to succumb to a preventable disease runs pretty high around here." A direct slap in the face to the global scientific community's tedious efforts, this statement encapsulates the prevailing sentiment in Douglas County, a realm where 'freedom' courageously trumps public health safety, just like the founding fathers intended. Meanwhile, COVID-19, opportunistic as ever, is said to be considering relocating its headquarters to Douglas County, lured by the tantalizing prospect of unvaccinated human hosts. The irony of the situation would be utterly amusing, hysterical even, if it wasn't overshadowed by the contemplation of preventable sorrow, illness, and potentially even death. Let's raise our glasses then to Douglas County: the embodiment of how not to grasp obligation towards public safety in a global pandemic. We salute your steadfast audacity in turning even public health into an exhibition of political grandstanding. And so, the Land of the Free remains gripped tightly in the fist of irony, applauding through gritted teeth, while the rest of the world watches on in baffled amusement or lip-biting despair. Hard as it may seem to acknowledge at times, it’s another day in the USA.