Title: Controversy at Cannes as Director Doesn't Fall Down Stairs During 'Anatomy of a Fall' Acceptance Speech Cannes - An air of outrage and shock descended upon the Cannes Film Festival as director Justine Triet, the recipient of the prestigious Palme d'Or for her film "Anatomy of a Fall," failed to trip or stumble during her acceptance speech. Festival attendees expressed their disappointment, having anticipated an actual demonstration of falling to commemorate the winning film's title. Rumors swirled that Triet's refusal to fall was an act of protest against the historic dominance of male directors who have spent decades perfecting their own falling techniques. Eyewitnesses claim to have seen Triet practicing her acceptance speech in private, stumbling and flailing with impressive coordination. "We expected her to at least falter slightly, or lose her balance, but she remained in complete control," lamented one guest. "She even managed to sidestep a strategically placed banana peel, which was clearly provided to enable a dramatic pratfall in honor of her film." Festival staff were flabbergasted by the missed opportunity, with one veteran security guard shaking his head and muttering, "That would've been a fall for the ages." Critics speculated that the lack of a literal fall during the Palme d'Or ceremony was a satirical comment on the film industry's expectations for physical comedy as a requisite for intellectual triumph. "The world of high art, it seems, can't escape its slapstick roots," remarked one critic. Triet's refusal to fall was whispered about at every after-party, overshadowing discussions of the film's merits or its place in film history. Many attendees pondered how the Academy Awards would handle this developing trend of non-physicality in acceptance speeches. The Academy, fearing a similar situation, has reportedly begun to prepare possible strategies, including installing tripwires and randomly deploying airbags near the podium to ensure a satisfactory amount of falling occurs during their esteemed event. Meanwhile, Triet has remained silent on her decision, leaving festival-goers and film enthusiasts alike to wonder when they will next witness a perfect blend of grace and gravity-defying disaster on stage.