In a thrilling display of mediocrity, Xander Schauffele managed to keep his cut streak alive at the PGA Championship in oddly dramatic fashion—by limping into the weekend with a nearly historic score of 1-over par. The reigning champion delivered an even-par 71 on Friday, proving that sometimes it’s not about playing well but merely surviving long enough not to receive a pink slip from the tournament. Schauffele, whose 64-tournament cut streak has reportedly become more popular than Tiger Woods’ 142-event slog, found himself facing an existential crisis after dropping to a precarious 3-over par. "I just knew I was in trouble at 3 over!" Schauffele exclaimed, as if it was some heated poker game and he'd just seen his full house beaten by a straight flush. “But if there’s anything I’ve learned from the past 64 tournaments, it’s that mediocrity can be an art form.” As fans gathered, clutching their sandwiches and sipping lukewarm beverages, the tension in the air was palpable. For a moment, the gallery was more on edge than during a suspenseful dental appointment, transformed into dedicated cheerleaders for a man who seemed to be teetering on the edge of disaster more than the golf course itself. Analysts in the booth struggled to explain how someone could be both a champion and a champion of cutting it close. “It’s like watching a lion playing patty-cake,” one commentator quipped. “You know something exciting might happen, but the real thrill is that it hasn’t actually eaten anyone live on air.” To further enhance the stakes, Schauffele’s performance was punctuated by numerous self-admonishments whispered between shots, corrected with a newfound ‘come on, Xander!’ mantra that he likely plans to trademark after the tournament wraps up. Golfers around the world took notes, documenting how to stretch their own cut streaks without breaking a sweat — or their bank accounts. “Sure, I may have looked like a soggy slice of bread on the course,” Schauffele mused, “But look at the bigger picture! I’m redefining the term ‘cut artist.’ I should start a masterclass!” As spectators digested the unfolding drama, Schauffele’s continued good fortunes prompted a wave of sympathy from fellow players who worried he might not hit 'par'—in any sense of the word—next week. With murmurs about whether he should change his name to ‘Xander Stays Afloat’ buzzing around the clubhouse, hope remained high for the man who is now a walking testament to the power of persistence, if not excellence. As the weekend approaches, fans remain riveted to their screens, waiting patiently to see if Schauffele can continue his streak of survival—or, conversely, if he’ll break the mold and actually try to play well. After all, in golf, as in life, it’s not just about making the cut; it’s about making it interesting while you do so.