In a shocking turn of events that left users reeling and their thumbs twitching, Meta's family of apps plunged into a bewildering silence on Wednesday, prompting an existential crisis for billions worldwide. Millions of social media enthusiasts found themselves yearning for connection, only to discover that the digital realm had decided to play a cruel game of hide and seek. The outage, which began with a chaotic flurry of user complaints at approximately 9:57 a.m. PST, quickly escalated into a frenzy of social media despair. Users took to the only platform that remained operational—Twitter (or as some called it, “the last bastion of sanity”)—to voice their frustrations, forming a community of crisis-witnesses united under the hashtag #MetaMess. “I was just about to post a picture of my breakfast smoothie when it all went dark,” lamented Jessica, a 28-year-old influencer, as she clutched her phone in despair. “Now how am I supposed to receive affirmation from my followers that my green sludge is aesthetically pleasing? This is a crisis for the entire aesthetic community!” Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists took advantage of the outage, rising from their keyboards like phoenixes. “Clearly, this is a ploy by the government to destabilize social interaction,” claimed a self-proclaimed digital prophet in a dark basement. “Think about it: If people can’t post about their cat videos, how long before they start talking to their real cats?” As panic swept through the digital landscape, many users resorted to primitive methods of communication, such as actually speaking to their friends and family. “I looked at my husband and realized I hadn’t spoken to him in months—since the last Facebook drama,” recounted Karen, a beleaguered mother of three. “It was a terrifying reminder that they exist outside of Instagram filters.” Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who appeared at the Meta Connect event just hours after the outages, was spotted frantically refreshing his own Facebook page, only to find it still down. “Um, we’re looking into it,” he reportedly said, while standing in the middle of a packed auditorium. “But in the meantime, please feel free to engage with our other products—like virtual reality. Where’s the love for the Metaverse?” As the hours dragged on and users remained locked out from their digital lives, many formed support groups, engaging in group therapy sessions and creating clubs dedicated to the art of face-to-face communication. “I never knew how much I missed human interaction until I was forced into it,” said Tom, an avid Facebook user who completed his first crossword puzzle yesterday. “I might actually start making real friends!” The outage finally ended in the late afternoon, but not before the world was served a reminder: when the apps crash, reality checks become all too real. As social media returned to normal, users cautiously waded back into the safety of likes, shares, and GIFs, grateful yet haunted by the echo of real-life laughter they had just experienced. “Never take your feeds for granted, folks,” tweeted one pragmatic user, as the virtual floodgates swung open once more. “You never know when your favorite cat meme might say goodbye forever.” The hashtag #MetaMess may eventually fade, but the existential questions it raised—“What is life without likes?” and “Why are my kids still here?”—will continue to linger in the depths of the internet, like a digital ghost haunting our screens.