In a bold and unprecedented move, Maryland State Senator Gladys "The General" Pothole has declared war on traffic jams, promising to use conventional military force to clear the roads of the state’s notorious gridlock. Armed with a fleet of brightly colored Humvees and a team of dedicated traffic engineers trained in the art of warfare, Pothole aims to combat what she calls "the greatest foe of civil society"—the monthly commute. “Traffic jams are an insidious enemy,” she announced at a press conference held on I-95, where a particularly gnarly backup had turned the highway into a parking lot once again. “They sap our productivity, ruin our temper, and worst of all, they bring out the worst in our road rage!” With her signature aviator sunglasses and a fearless attitude akin to that of a three-star general, Pothole unveiled her tactical plan, dubbed "Operation Shock and Awe-ful Driving." The operation consists of a series of bold maneuvers, including setting up roadside barricades reminiscent of those seen in wartime and deploying “decongestant drones” armed with absurd yet oddly effective traffic humor, such as inflatable banana peels that deflate, creating an immediate lane-clearing effect. “Why use traditional methods like expanding roads or improving public transportation, when we can have the National Guard armed with traffic cones and an arsenal of witty signs?” Pothole quipped, before unveiling a series of prototypes that featured messages like “Caution: Slow Pokes Ahead” and “Speed Limit: Just Kidding!” Public sentiment about Pothole's initiative is divided. Local resident and self-proclaimed traffic connoisseur, Doug “The Gridlock Guru” Wrench, expressed his support. “Finally! Someone is taking a stand! If we can’t stop traffic jams, at least let’s have some fun with them,” he said, attempting to share his favorite meme about traffic lights. However, critics have been quick to point out the potential dangers of "militarizing" the roads. “This isn’t a warzone; it’s a suburban dream,” said Carla “Left-Turn” Blank, president of the Coalition for Lesser Congestion. “We don’t need more Humvees; we just need to teach people how to use their turn signals. Or maybe introduce fines for every car that cuts you off!” Despite the skepticism, Pothole has managed to rally support from various traffic enthusiasts and meme lovers who view her war declaration as a raucous meme-making opportunity. One entrepreneur has already started selling T-shirts featuring Pothole's face above the slogan, “I’d Rather Stuck in Traffic than Fight the DMV!.” In a surprising tactical maneuver, Pothole has even announced plans to collaborate with local coffee shops to create “Road Rage Rations,” caffeinated beverages specially designed to ease tensions in the car. “Get your Frappucino and a side of ‘just chill!’" she advertised. As Operation Shock and Awe-ful Driving gears up for action, Maryland residents watch closely, wondering whether traffic will become more bearable or simply more entertaining. Whatever the outcome, one thing is clear: the only casualties here might just be puns—and maybe a few bumper stickers.