In a stunning legal maneuver that has left observers scratching their heads, Judge Juan Merchan has reportedly granted President-elect Donald Trump the immunity he sought—but only from the questionable strategies proposed by his own legal team. The ruling came after Trump's attorneys attempted to convince the court that he should be immune to charges brought by Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg by invoking "presidential immunity." As Trump held court at Mar-a-Lago, surrounded by tech moguls and a small herd of golf clubs, a visibly bemused Judge Merchan turned down the request that would have effectively granted Trump an all-access pass to avoid accountability. "While I admire your enthusiasm," Merchan stated, "it seems your arguments are more suited for a game of charades than a courtroom." According to sources close to the proceedings, Trump's attorneys entertained all kinds of outlandish legal theories, from invoking the secret duck hunting laws of 1792 to citing a fictional precedent involving a cat and a bag of catnip. It wasn't until a terrified intern suggested that they simply declare that none of it counted because “they were just kidding” that Merchan decided to take action. Legal pundits are now wondering if Trump's legal team might consider a new approach: channeling their inner children and simply sticking their fingers in their ears while shouting "la-la-la, I can't hear you!" The team's latest brainstorm reportedly involved entering a motion dressed as superheroes—because who wouldn't want to be defended by The Slightly Annoyed Avenger and Captain Irrelevant? The ruling did offer a silver lining for Trump, as he now officially has immunity from the bad ideas that seem to flow from his legal team like a never-ending fountain of wishful thinking. After the decision, a triumphant Trump tweeted, “Finally, I’m protected! Now I can focus on my real job: meeting with tech moguls about the next generation of patented Trump hair products!” Meanwhile, the Manhattan DA office is reportedly planning a not-so-stealthy celebration, complete with legal fireworks and a cake that reads “No Immunity for You,” as they prepare for a lengthy legal battle ahead. As the courtroom drama unfolds, one thing is clear: when it comes to Trump’s legal strategy, expect the unexpected—and prepare for a lot of facepalms.