In an unprecedented act of nature, the notoriously dusty and free-spirited Burning Man festival has morphed into an experience that can only be described as 'Lord of the Flies meets Woodstock' when a slow, but relentless rainstorm turned the Nevada’s Black Rock desert into an ankle-deep mud pit. The rainstorm, rumored to be the ploy of a disgruntled ex-girlfriend of a long-time burner, created a scene of chaos and survivalist nightmares for participants who were expecting a week of freedom, art, and – let’s not kid ourselves – partying. Instead, they were urged to stay in their camps, conserve food, and water, effectively barring them from leaving the festival site. Given Burning Man's no ‘spectator’ rule, festival goers were left to participate actively in their own survival story. Many quickly realized that their psychedelic spandex and feathered headdresses were far less practical in an apocalypse-like scenario than they had initially anticipated. The festival organisers were reportedly seen attempting a ritualistic dance to appease the rain gods, which, unfortunately, only succeeded in causing more mud to splash around. Authorities have yet to confirm if a sacrifice of a vintage Volkswagen van covered in fairy lights, commonly recognized as the burner's chariot, would be the next step in their desperate appeals. Long-time burner, Sunshine Moonbeam, could barely contain her bewilderment between sobs, "I came here for the art and human connections,” she said, barely avoiding a mud slide. “Not to live out a dystopian future where my diet consists only of canned beans." On the lighter side, Burners with skills in pottery have found an unexpected avenue of self-expression. Mud pies, statues, and even some rudimentary shelter have begun to appear around the playa. San Francisco hipster and first-time Burner, Kale Smoothie, saw a positive amidst all the chaos. “Oh man, this is, like, so real! It’s a transformative experience, man!” he enthusiastically shared while crafting a rainwater harvesting system from his collection of mason jars. However, the unrelenting rains have sparked concern among some of the more seasoned veterans of the festival. "It's like Waterworld, but without the charm of Kevin Costner," remarked a burner sardonically, painting a dire picture of the proceedings. Organizers have asked festival goers to remain patient and to stop making mud angels as it's just making things worse. Those who survive the Great Burning Man Mud Apocalypse will undoubtedly have unprecedented stories and a newfound appreciation for dry socks. Meanwhile, the rest of the world watches on, learning that perhaps the most significant limit of self-expression is the weather. For now, all we can do is wait for the sun to come out, and the "burners" to start burning again. Hopefully, this time, not in mud.