In a dazzling display of self-congratulation, the Golden Globes 2025 are set to kick off, promising an evening where Hollywood’s elite gather to honor their own while simultaneously reminding audiences that true talent is *so* last season. The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles will serve as the hallowed ground where stars parade in designer outfits costing more than small countries' GDPs, all in the name of art. This year, attendees will pay special homage to nominees in various categories, including the highly coveted “Best Use of a Cliché in a Screenplay” and the grueling “Most Dramatic Cry Face.” Enthusiasts and industry insiders alike can’t wait to see who will walk away with a shiny trophy that approximately 30% of the world knows exists. Eyes are glued, particularly in India, where the buzz is focused on “All We Imagine As Light,” directed by Payal Kapadia. As the nation holds its breath, the question on everyone's lips is: will an obscure Indian film finally take home a trophy, or will Hollywood snub it in favor of another historical drama featuring a white man in a fedora? Meanwhile, the Golden Globes will also include a live performance by up-and-coming artists, ensuring that the show is as fashionable as it is forgettable. The performances will lovingly feature at least seven ballads featuring heartbreak, betrayal, and that all-encompassing theme of “I can’t believe you didn’t text me back!” As for the actual awards, it’s widely expected that every nominee will receive a participation trophy—because nothing says “we care” like recognizing mediocrity in a world that already feels so chaotic! Each nominated film will be graced with an injury report on their journey, detailing the process of how many thousands of dollars were spent on marketing alone. The night will culminate in fervent speeches, ranging from the heartfelt, “I thank my family” to the obligatory political tirade that no one asked for. However, with an impressive lineup of celebrities planning to take center stage, viewers can expect significant interruptions for photo ops, self-indulgent anecdotes, and a surprise cameo from someone who wasn’t even nominated. Tune in this Sunday night to watch the Golden Globes 2025—your annual reminder that in Hollywood, it’s not about who wins, it’s about who looked the best losing! Grab your popcorn, because it’s going to be a night filled with tears, laughter, and an overwhelming sense of entitlement.