Oscar Mayer, one of America's largest processed food companies, has unleashed what they are calling the ultimate "sizzling surprise" on the world by completely rebranding their world-famous Wienermobile. And no, it has nothing to do with copyright problems. The Wienermobile, a beloved traveling icon and adored publicity stunt, is being retired and replaced by the Frankmobile. Apparently, the marketing teams at the brand had been "flippin' grills" for long enough and thought it was time to switch things up by adding a frankfurter touch to the giant motorized hotdog. "Frankly, we just thought it was time for a change," said a spokesperson for Oscar Mayer. "Replacing the Wienermobile with the Frankmobile is just one more way we here at Oscar Mayer can continue our proud tradition of pandering to people who have no idea what sausages are supposed to look like." Feasting on the public's hunger for roadside attractions and not-so-subliminal messages, the unveiling of the Frankmobile was met with a mix of confusion, mild intrigue, and a slight craving for salty, processed meats. People from all over the country have already begun taking bets on whether the giant sausage vehicle's exhaust will smell like Vienna or Frankfurt. Just like the Wienermobile, people can expect the Frankmobile to roll through towns and convince unsuspecting children that every normal car should actually look like a deliciously consumable meat snack. The change has some questioning the value of the rebrand. "If I wanted to see a giant frankfurter on wheels, then I'd just picture it in my mind like a normal person," commented a local who seemed annoyed by the hype. "I don't understand why anyone would feel the need to change an American classic like the Wienermobile. This is just one more reason to never trust marketing people." Originally created in 1936, the Wienermobile was designed to carry the "Hotdoggers," college students who served as ambassadors of the brand. It is unknown whether the Hotdoggers will now be renamed "Frankfurters" as it hasn't been specified if they are connected solely to the vehicle's name or to an allegiance to a particular style of sausage. Time will tell if this transition to the Frankmobile will be as succulent as Oscar Mayer hopes, or if it's just another example of corporate America trying to fix something that isn't broken. In the meantime, stock up on condiments and enjoy the taste of progress at its finest.