In a plot twist worthy of a daytime soap opera, Luigi Mangione, a 26-year-old prodigy fresh off the Ivy League conveyor belt, has traded in his coding keyboard for a prison jumpsuit. The tech-savvy former whiz kid, who was rumored to be developing an app to make health insurance as exciting as ordering pizza, now faces first-degree murder charges for the brazen assassination of a health insurance executive. Who knew that navigating the labyrinth of the insurance world could end with someone behind bars? Witnesses report that Luigi's ambush attack outside a high-end Manhattan hotel could have been a scene straight out of an action movie. Eyewitnesses claim he shouted, “Consider this an upgrade to premium service!” just before unleashing a fury of chaos. Perhaps Luigi was simply trying to prove that he could code a faster exit from corporate America than anyone else. Despite having aced his economics courses and built a web app that reportedly helped people find the cheapest health plans — and, unintentionally, how to find someone willing to eliminate the competition—Luigi's unauthorized career pivot into the realm of organized crime has left his alma mater, and most of Manhattan, scratching their heads in disbelief. "I had high hopes for Luigi," his former professor lamented. "In class, he was brilliant, but it turns out he excelled in an entirely different kind of ‘case analysis.’ I just hope his coding skills can help him debug his life behind bars." As if the story couldn't get any more absurd, it's been revealed that Luigi's motive wasn't just a seizure of ill-conceived ambition but a desperate personal vendetta against the bureaucracy of health insurance claims. "I thought he was just passionate about health care reform," one peer said, "but apparently, he took it a bit too far. Maybe he was trying to ‘liberate’ the system—albeit in an unconventional way." Not to be outdone by this classical twist of fate, Alvin Bragg, the Manhattan District Attorney, has taken the opportunity to roll out a new PR campaign titled "From Ivy League to Life Sentence," aimed at scaring future tech entrepreneurs straight. His office has promised to give aspiring coders a crash course on “How to Avoid Becoming a Cold Case” — a seminar that already has waiting lists across the city’s top universities. In the meantime, Luigi is left to ponder whether investing his talents in tech start-ups would have been a wiser choice than attempting to take the ‘murder mysteries’ of health insurance into his own hands. As the courtroom drama unfolds, one can only wonder what will be the next chapter in this tech mogul’s downfall. After all, in the game of life, he’s clearly found the “bug.”