In a shocking twist that has the political world spinning faster than a Bolivian llama at a tango festival, former President Evo Morales has officially been issued an arrest warrant for allegedly engaging in the highly controversial and completely unexpected hobby of "teen trafficking." Apparently, the former leader was too busy planning festivals and stepping down to notice that his extracurricular activities included something slightly more serious than the average knitting club. "This has absolutely nothing to do with politics," remarked INSPECTOR Clueless in a press conference. "It’s just that we found some evidence involving a 15-year-old and a perfectly innocent-looking piñata. I mean, who does not love piñatas? But this is not about the candy, folks!" Prosecutor Sandra Gutierrez, who initially mistook Morales' name for a brand of organic quinoa, confirmed the issuance of the warrant saying, "We tried to keep it under wraps, but then Morales had the audacity to deny everything, like that time he denied eating one too many empanadas. So here we are, ready to throw the book at him, or at least a couple of tacos!" Morales, who has spent much of his post-presidency denying allegations with the gusto of a man defending his right to eat pizza in bed, recently stated, “If we’re talking about trafficking, I’m more of an Uber driver type than a smuggler. Let’s just say my routes don’t involve dodging the cops.” While Bolivians brace themselves for yet another episode of “As the Political World Turns,” locals have begun to take bets on how this will all play out. Some speculate that Morales will either join a circus to escape arrest or enter the witness protection program disguised as his own grandmother. Inquiries have suggested that Morales plans to again run for president while he awaits trial, declaring, “Any scandal involving minors won't stop me—no one can resist my charm!” Political analysts are cautiously optimistic about Morales’ math skills, confidently stating that “at this point, anything seems possible with the right amount of delusion.” As Morales prepares his next moves, the country waits not just for justice, but for the inevitable Netflix documentary that will surely follow—"Trafficking: The Evolution of Evo." Until then, citizens are left to ponder what is truly more outrageous: the allegations against Morales or the fact he still thinks he can run for office—now that's real political trafficking!