**BREAKING NEWS** Acclaimed chess grandmaster Sandra Slack Glover loses bid at Connecticut high court judge position, replacing celebrated American jurist and high school basketball star nominee, Amy Coney Barrett. The shocking turn of events took place after the shocking revelation of Glover's illegal move, signing a letter showing support for then-nominee, and now red-nosed bench-warming sensation, Barrett. "I thought signing the letter in support of Amy was an appropriate move," stated a clearly confused and distraught Glover. "But it turns out I just put myself in checkmate." Legal experts noted that although Glover is a federal prosecutor with no judicial experience, she was well-positioned to take the illustrious title due to her extensive experience playing with little horse-head carved wooden pieces. Observers today remained in shock over the events, as members of a divided Connecticut Legislature staged an impromptu reenactment of the classic film "Twelve Angry Men," complete with impassioned speeches, finger-pointing, and men pacing around a small room, furiously dabbing their foreheads with handkerchiefs. "It was the letter that did her in," opined legal analyst and former dog-show enthusiast Walter Kibblebits. "If only she'd chosen to support an obscure TV game show contestant instead, like maybe a particularly talented Jeopardy winner, she'd be on the Supreme Court now." "The games people play for power," sighed Democratic Governor Ned Lamont, who reportedly taught his dog to play poker. "I wish we could go back to simpler times, when knowing how to pick up a phone without accidentally knocking it off the hook was all you needed to make it onto the Court." As of press time, Lamont is said to be mulling over karaoke competition winners as potential nominees, though the governor is unsure if crooning 80s hits will translate well to adjudicating state legal disputes. As for Sandra Slack Glover, the real tragedy may be that she's left to wander the wilderness of obscurity, barred from becoming an integral part of America's hallowed halls of justice by the simple act of expressing support for a colleague. Fortuitously, it's reported she intends to brush up on her Dungeons & Dragons skills in the meantime, and is rumored to be considering a competitive speed knitting retreat.