In a move that shocked absolutely no one, President Biden took time out of his busy schedule of global diplomacy to address a pressing issue that clearly affects everyone: the Amazon rainforest. During a high-stakes aerial tour that reportedly included a thrilling game of "spot the endangered species," Biden pledged a cornucopia of cash to safeguard the lush jungles before President-elect Donald Trump assumes office in January — presumably to ensure that no rainforest can join his menu. "Who knew that Amazon was more than just expedited package delivery?" Biden quipped, attempting to keep his thoughts on climate change light-hearted while gazing at the dense green canopy below. "I mean, look at this place! It’s not just a giant online store for overpriced goods and mysterious chargers. It’s the lungs of our planet! And those lungs are wheezing!" As Biden hovered over the vibrant tapestry of biodiversity, he unveiled a proclamation establishing November 17 as “International Save the Amazon Day.” The date was strategically chosen, as it conveniently falls just weeks before Trump’s inauguration, ensuring the preservation of precious trees and wildlife before the ex-president has the chance to turn them into his next big project — a luxury golf course or perhaps an upscale chain of “Tropical Trump Resorts.” The extravagant press event featured indigenous leaders from the Amazon rainforest, who were flown in via eco-friendly helicopters — powered by the sheer desperation of saving their homes. "We're glad Biden is here," one leader exclaimed. "But let’s hope Trump doesn’t bring his ‘cut it down and build it back up’ approach to saving the world." Of course, Trump, who has yet to comment on his rainforest-saving plans, is reportedly eyeing a new fast-food chain concept that features Amazonian ingredients. “Imagine the possibilities,” he mused to his advisors. “Burgers made from endangered species – all the taste and none of the calories! We’ll call it Trump’s 'Rainforest Grill!'” As Biden wrapped up his visit, he left the world with a warning: "It’s do or dive. Either we save the Amazon, or we let it go the way of Blockbuster and VHS tapes." Many stood puzzled, unsure if they should be inspired or confused. With laughter echoing throughout the forest, Biden boarded Air Force One to head back to Washington D.C, leaving behind a vague sense of hope along with a mountain of unspent cash. The ultimate question remains unanswered: Will the Amazon survive long enough for Trump’s next culinary venture? Only time — and an abundance of eco-conscious legislation — will tell.