CHICAGO, IL - Record-breaking winter aside, residents and tourists in the Windy City have braced themselves for a more turbulent storm this spring. The grand event is known as the "Windy City's Boomerang Bonanza" or as us locals lovingly like to call it "The Great Return-a-thon." Chicago officials have declared April 1st as the official launch date for this oddly captivating event. The premise is confoundingly simple - participants toss boomerangs from the top of the city's tallest buildings and hope for the best. Or perhaps it's more apt to say, they hope not for the worst. It is, after all, an event designed around boomerangs, the most passive-aggressive projectiles known to man. The event was born out of a fictitious tweet by Mayor Hossberg, who was presumably trying to subtweet the not-so-subtle projective failures of the Chicago Cubs. It read, "When life throws you a curveball, catch it, turn it into a boomerang, and chuck it off a building. #ChicagoStrong." The internet, in true internet fashion, took the tweet straight to the heart, or to the rooftops as it were. Participants in this year's Return-a-thon include a rag-tag team of thrill-seekers willing to test the limits of physics, aerodynamics, and perhaps common sense. Among these mavericks is 77-year-old, Gertrude "Gerty" Thompson, a longstanding Chicago native and self-confessed thrill chaser. Gerty recently traded bingo nights for boomerang flights saying, "It's all chance anyways, at least this way I get a bit of a breeze". She’ll be tossing her lucky boomerang affectionately named ‘Kangaroo Jack’ from the dizzying heights of the Willis Tower. There’s also Logan "Skyshot" Martinez, an aspiring architect with a trusty 3D printed boomerang hoping to steal the spotlight. "It's all calculated risk," he assures us while glancing nervously at his physics-defying creation. While critics argue that the event is not only reckless but also a blatant disregard for public safety, officers on the scene are reportedly dealing with the rogue boomerangs with a surprisingly good humour. Officer Daniels, a veteran on the force, recently equipped with an oversized butterfly net, commented, "We've had worse. Remember the city-wide tomato fight of '07?" Meanwhile, Chicago’s secondary industry, window repair shops, are experiencing a seasonal boom, no pun intended. Local repairman, Sal, says he couldn't be happier, "It's the circle of life. They throw, I fix, they throw again." All things considered, the bizarre event has brought a strange sense of unity amid this vibrant city’s inhabitants, a testament perhaps that Chicago always manages to whip up the most peculiar forms of communal bonding. So, a word of caution for those wandering the city streets on April 1st – keep an eye to the sky. You very well might catch a glimpse of a boomerang or two arching triumphantly, or calamitously, among the lofty skyscrapers of the Windy City. But more likely, you'll just hear the distinctive thwack of karma hitting us right in the face - literally.