In the realm of roommate selection, we often consider factors like cleanliness, cooking skills, and compatibility in terms of lifestyle. But let us take a moment to reflect on an unconventional choice: the Megalithic Walls of Altamura. Sure, they’ve stood tall for over two thousand years, but having these ancient fortifications as roommates would be nothing short of catastrophic. Here’s why sharing a living space with these colossal stones would lead to a cacophony of conflict and colorful chaos. First and foremost, let’s talk about their inevitable territorial instincts. The Megalithic Walls are famously known for enclosing ancient Altamura, but that doesn't mean they can just start claiming the couch as their own. Imagine coming home from a long day of work only to be met with a granite block stubbornly occupying the prime napping spot because, in its mind, it has “the ancient right” to be there. Good luck trying to negotiate seating arrangements with something that predates even our best strategies for living gracefully in shared spaces! And then there’s the issue of personal space. At about 4 meters high and 5 meters wide at the base, these walls are literally enormous. You’d think they could at least pack their bags and move out of your personal bubble! Just imagine the awkwardness of having to navigate through a narrow hallway past a solid mass of stone—talk about social anxiety! Every time I’d walk past, I’d feel like I’m being divided from my own living area, as though I were some sort of peasant trying to access the royal castle. “Excuse me, could you scooch over a bit?” I'd ask, but I’d be met with an ominous silence. Good luck trying to organize a cozy movie night when the walls are staging a complete refusal to allow us any breathing room. One cannot overlook the communication factor, either. Living with the Megalithic Walls would make it impossible to discuss important issues. “Hey, guys, can we talk about the noise from the historical reenactors outside?” would be met with deafening silence—probably because they don’t have ears! Instead, we might end up conducting negotiations through tap dancing rituals or interpretative rock formations to convey our dissatisfaction, which undoubtedly would go over as well as a lead balloon. And can we reminisce about the lack of shared common interests? You might hope for lively debates about ancient history or philosophy, but history isn't going to cut it with these stony roomies. Instead, all you’d get is a blank stare—or, more accurately, a blank wall. Forget about binge-watching the latest season of anything; the walls wouldn’t have the slightest idea of what Netflix is, and honestly, they’d probably try to stonewall the entire affair by organizing a lecture on their heyday battles instead. Then, we have to consider lifestyle habits. Do you enjoy a quiet evening with a book? You might as well invite a choir of angry archaeologists over. What about late-night snacks? Be wary! The walls have had thousands of years to resent food being consumed in their vicinity. You could wake up in the night to find them groaning about the crumbs on “their” sacred ground. Not to mention, their historical baggage is a headache in itself. You thought your last roommate drama was complex? Good luck unraveling the mysteries of why the Megalithic Walls of Altamura seem to have abandoned their ancient city. Every time you think you’re bonding, they’ll take you back to their glory days and turn every casual conversation into an epic tale of valor—suddenly, your light-hearted chats about grocery shopping morph into a three-hour saga about epic battles. In conclusion, while the Megalithic Walls of Altamura may be impressive remnants of ancient civilization, they would be terrible roommates. With their territorialism, inability to communicate, stone-cold indifference to your lifestyle, and tendency to monopolize the conversation with tales of the past, it’s best to admire them from afar. After all, some things are better left as historical monuments rather than as living roommates!