In a stunning turn of events, West Ham United managed to not only claim a long-awaited victory at Old Trafford but also spark rumors that Manchester United might just adopt them as their second favorite team. The 2-0 upset sent shockwaves through the hallowed halls of the Manchester club, as fans were left reeling from the revelation that a game could end in a loss to the Hammers. The match saw Tomas Soucek and Jarrod Bowen achieve what many thought was impossible: giving a performance so underwhelming that even die-hard United supporters were forced to engage in self-deprecating humor. Soucek, in what can only be described as a perplexing act of kindness, decided to score first, making the old rival’s worst day just a bit worse. Bowen followed suit, treating the home advantage like it was a bad case of indigestion that could simply be ignored. “When Soucek scored, I thought my heart just might stop,” said one bewildered Manchester fan. “I didn’t think it was humanly possible to lose to a team that hadn’t won here since before Twitter existed. It’s like my dad telling me about the time he saw a dinosaur.” Manchester United, historically known for their dominance, now find themselves struggling in 16th place, a position that has left their fans questioning whether they should start practicing their ‘Thank You for Coming’ speeches for the impending relegation. The former giants of football couldn’t even muster up enough energy to whip up one of their signature last-minute comebacks, leading some to claim they were simply playing ‘hide and seek’ with the goalposts. As if the loss wasn’t humiliating enough, reports indicate that approximately 75% of all United fans are now considering adopting West Ham as their beloved second team. “What’s the point of living in denial?” one fan mused. “Maybe I just need to embrace the chaos and get myself a Hammers jersey. They’re the only ones having any fun right now!” The players were equally baffled, with Luke Shaw reportedly commenting, “It’s strange being on the losing side, I think I read about it in a book once.” Meanwhile, West Ham United’s dressing room was filled with glee as they celebrated like they had just secured their place in the Champions League instead of merely climbing to 15th position. As fans grapple with their newfound appreciation for West Ham, Old Trafford has fallen eerily silent, prompting the stadium’s PA system to play the classic refrain, “We Are the Champions.” The irony, of course, only highlights that if anyone is going to revel in the atmosphere at Old Trafford more than those who have lost their identity, it’s now the Hammers and their jubilant supporters. In conclusion, West Ham's victory at Old Trafford has not only marked the breaking of an 18-year curse but also the potential opening of a new chapter for Manchester United’s fans — one where they can officially lament in style while playfully rooting for an underdog. As the old saying goes, “If you can’t beat them, join them — especially if it means avoiding the embarrassment of being a Red Devil in distress."