In an unprecedented move that has left parents both chuckling and trembling, St. Barnabas Christian Academy proudly unveils "The Wisdom Factory"—a new comedic curriculum designed to mix spiritual enlightenment with a hearty dose of guilt. The school's motto, "Learning with Laughs and a Little Bit of Shame," has already become a catchphrase among future theologians and adult-sized children alike. Principal Moses Lightenup described the initiative as a “wholesome venture to teach kids the importance of introspection, hilarity, and the occasional self-flagellation.” Word on the holy street is that the curriculum incorporates a range of unconventional classes, including "Bible Stories with a Twist," where students reenact famous parables with punchlines. Last week’s lesson, "The Prodigal Son: A Tale of Bad Choices," left both students and teachers in stitches—right up until the moral beating started. Meanwhile, the new after-school special, "Guilt-Free Giggles," promises high-energy, laughter-inducing activities—immediately followed by a thoughtful prayer session reflecting on one's sins. "You can't throw in a barbershop quartet without reminding them of eternal damnation," explained one overly cheerful theology teacher, clutching her rosary like a comfort blanket. The school's lunchroom has embraced the theme wholeheartedly, offering menu specials like "Repentant Ravioli" and "Heavenly Hash," both of which come with a side of judgment-free guilt: “Are you sure you want that second helping when so many are hungry in Ecuador?” Snack time features “Graceful Grapes”—a fruit platter that draws parallels between nourishment and spiritual sustenance, tantalizing young minds while instilling a low-level anxiety about socioeconomic disparities. Students are also being subjected to the new mandatory “Guilt & Laughter” assemblies, where they are instructed by guest speakers—including comedians and spiritual leaders—on how to mask existential dread with humor. “I’ve learned that you can giggle at the absurdity of life while still wondering if you’ll be sent to hell for it,” grinned one seventh grader, barely containing the laughter bubbling up like the sin of gluttony. Parents are reporting mixed feelings about the approach. "I love that they’re teaching my kid moral lessons in a funny way," said one father whose unease was dampened by a robust sense of denial. “But do they have to leave us with such a lingering sense of unresolved sin? It’s like a comedy club mixed with confession!” Critics of the program argue that it’s merely an excuse to keep children entertained while imparting anxiety about their afterlife choices. “I came here to learn about Christ, not to audition for ‘Last Comic Standing’ on Judgment Day,” lamented one visibly confused eighth grader, clutching a copy of “The Importance of Eternal Vigilance 101.” However, the school board remains optimistic, declaring that this blend of laughter and guilt could pave the way for a new generation of “righteous jokesters” ready to save the world, one punchline at a time. “Ultimately, we just want to ensure kids are prepared for life’s cruelty while wielding the sword of faith—preferably with a comedic flair,” said Lightenup with a wink. So, welcome to the Wisdom Factory, where each lesson feels like a divine roast, and remember: the punchline is eternal, but the guilt? It’s just next Wednesday’s sermon away.