CARACAS - In a surprising turn of events, the Venezuelan government has officially blamed the country's recent cheese shortage entirely on immigrants, with President Nicolás Maduro stating, “If we had less of them, we would have more queso!” Venezuelan families accustomed to their beloved Taco Tuesdays have been left in despair as supermarkets report empty shelves where once-happy blocks of cheese used to reside. In an impromptu press conference held at a local taco stand, Maduro pointed to a nearby group of immigrants enjoying tacos and claimed, “They’re not just taking our jobs; they’re taking our cheese too!” The outcry over the missing cheese has sparked nationwide protests, with citizens demanding answers while waving signs reading, “No Cheese, No Peace!” and “You Can Take Our Lives, But Not Our Tacos!” Many Venezuelans have taken to social media to voice their dismay, posting pictures of their sad, cheese-less tacos and asking, “Is this what we’ve come to?” In response, the government has implemented a new initiative called “Operation Queso.” The plan reportedly involves deporting anybody caught with more than three blocks of cheese in their possession, as well as an intense investigation into any taco truck that appears to serve more than two types of cheese. “We will not rest until every Venezuelan citizen has access to queso solely made from Venezuelan milk!” declared the Minister of Dairy Affairs, while standing in front of a cow that looked just as confused as everyone else. Critics of the Maduro administration, however, are having a field day. Opposition leader Juan Guaidó released a statement saying, “First they took our cheese, and now they want to blame immigrants? What’s next? Blaming them for the lack of guacamole?” He even suggested that the government start an “Immigrant Cheese Registry,” forcing newcomers to declare their cheese consumption to help track down the elusive dairy thieves. The absurdity reached new heights when it was announced that a summit of cheese-producing nations would be held in Caracas. Invitations were sent out to cheese-loving leaders around the world, with the government promising to create the first-ever “International Taco Day.” The catch? Attendees must bring their own cheese. Local taco shops, faced with the cheese debacle, have gotten creative. Some have started offering “cheese-free tacos,” which consist of lettuce, salsa, and a single tear drop of nostalgia. Others have ventured into the underground cheese market, where whispered transactions and secret locations have become commonplace, akin to old-school prohibition days but with much more cilantro. As the crisis deepens, the future of Taco Tuesday hangs in the balance, with many citizens pledging to stock up on cheese whenever they can find it. “If this is what it takes to get our cheese back, then by all means, I’ll start a taco rally,” vowed one impassioned fan, clutching a haphazard taco filled with beans and regret. But as the government continues to point fingers, the rest of the world watches in amusement, wondering if Venezuela's next “national crisis” will be a missing avocado or the great salsa drought of 2024. For now, tacos without cheese seem to be the new norm, as Venezuelans cling desperately to the hope that one day, they’ll reclaim their melty goodness—sans blame on immigrants.