In a bold new strategy to curb rising tensions in the Middle East, the United States has officially announced its latest initiative: "Operation Fuel the Fire!" This innovative military campaign kicked off with airstrikes on the Ras Isa fuel port in Yemen, complete with a catchphrase that has quickly caught on among Pentagon officials: "War is Oil-derly Business!" According to Houthi media, which may or may not be considered an objective source, the airstrikes resulted in a reported 38 deaths and 102 injuries. The U.S. military, however, hailed the attack as a prime example of "economic empowerment," emphasizing that fewer Houthis means more economic opportunities for creativity in the art of war. A source from the Pentagon was spotted scribbling in a notepad, likely brainstorming ways to include "fuel efficiency" into military planning. "By striking the heart of the Houthis' fuel supply, we are sending a strong message," announced a military spokesperson, inadvertently referencing both the airstrikes and how they missed the last few sales at their local gas station. "It’s time for them to feel the power of American exceptionalism—only we get to drive the price of oil up and down, thank you very much." This initiative comes in response to a string of Houthi attacks on Red Sea shipping lanes, which they claim to be protesting against the ongoing conflict in Gaza. Critics have pointed out that bombing infrastructure certainly doesn’t seem like a peaceful resolution, but regime change enthusiasts in D.C. argue that hitting them where it hurts is a time-honored tradition worthy of their forebears—after all, this isn’t the first time someone made God laugh by making grand plans in the Middle East. Back in the States, memes of the airstrikes started flooding social media, featuring cheeky captions like "When your gas bill is higher than a Houthi's morale" and "Nothing says 'we care' quite like an airstrike!" Meanwhile, the economy is recovering nicely in the arms industry, as defense contractors reported record sales thanks to the "Oops, we did it again" style of American intervention. As the dust settles in Yemen, one thing is clear: the U.S. is prepared to sell the world a new kind of energy crisis—one bomb at a time. After all, nothing says "we want peace" like a high-explosive message delivered with a side of collateral damage. As families mourn and regional instability goes unchecked, officials conclude this latest strike proves that while the world may be getting warmer, America's appetite for war—and oil—is always cool as a cucumber.