In a shocking turn of events, the U.S. government has decided to shake things up by sending Venezuelan deportees not to their homeland but to the luxurious Terrorism Confinement Center in El Salvador—a place so exclusive, it’s practically the five-star resort of detention facilities. President Bukele of El Salvador seemingly couldn't help but celebrate this "refugee exchange program" with his signature wit, crowing about the arrangement on social media. “Thanks to our latest collaboration, we’re now the hottest destination for American deportees!” he quipped, accompanied by a photo of happy detainees holding oversized water bottles. As a federal judge blocked President Trump’s dubious attempts to use an obscure wartime law to justify the deportations, officials decided it was time to pivot strategically. Bukele stepped up to the plate, apparently ready to take on the role of a new-age immigration guru, offering El Salvador as the new cool kid on the block for U.S. unwanted residents. "Why go home when you can stay put and help add to our tourism sector?" he noted, perhaps with an eye toward boosting his beleaguered economy. The newly arrived Venezuelan guests will enjoy a mandatory one-year stay at the Terrorism Confinement Center, which Bukele assures is “infinitely renewable.” So far, reports indicate the accommodations feature a “no-frills” approach; after all, who needs Wi-Fi and soft mattress toppers when you have government-issued blankets and a government-mandated sense of adventure? Contributions from U.S. taxpayers are expected to be just a "very low fee," with some insiders hinting that the cost might be less than a cup of artisanal coffee in San Francisco. “We’re practically giving them away!” cheered one government official, visibly excited about the next wave of ‘guests.’ Critics of the program, however, caution that the arrangement could lead to notoriously extended “vacations,” with whispers of more indefinite detainment bubbling under the surface. But who can blame Bukele for revamping the traditional approach to immigration? After all, nothing says “international relations” like holding foreign nationals hostage in style while turning a profit. As the world watches the unfolding saga, one thing remains certain: between the escalating farce of geopolitical maneuvering and the bewildering appeal of a center for 'terrorism' yes—there’s little doubt this will be a story to remember. Most importantly, travelers now know there's an alternative to Disneyland—just book your ticket to the Terrorism Confinement Center! Disney might have "The Happiest Place on Earth," but El Salvador is clearly gunning for the title of "The Strangest Place on Earth."