In a shocking turn of events that has left economists scratching their heads and conspiracy theorists nodding vigorously, the United States and China have decided to hit the brakes on their ongoing tariff war, opting for a "trade truce" that lasts a whole 90 days. Because, naturally, who needs stable economies when you can enjoy a brief interlude of diplomacy? In what experts are calling an innovative move, the U.S. will slink its tariffs down from a whopping 145% to a mere 30%. Meanwhile, China, not wanting to feel left out, will take its tariffs from an eyebrow-raising 125% down to a paltry 10%. It's like two proverbial heavyweight boxers deciding to take a coffee break in the middle of a match, all while the audience watches in confusion, wondering if the fight was ever real to begin with. At a raucous news conference in Geneva—where it is rumored the coffee was so strong it could wake the dead—Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent boldly claimed, “We concluded that we have a shared interest.” In what? Perhaps in the art of making baffling economic decisions? Or maybe it’s a shared interest in ensuring that absolutely no one has a clear understanding of what’s going on. Predictably, the stock market reacted with an appropriate mix of confusion and cautious optimism. Investors, who had been preparing their emergency kits stocked with gold and canned beans for the impending economic apocalypse, suddenly found themselves wondering if they should just go back to watching cat videos instead. "I can’t tell if this is a win or a loss," muttered one investor, as he nervously chewed on his tie. Meanwhile, ordinary citizens are left scratching their heads, trying to decipher how these changes will impact their daily lives. "So, does this mean my soy sauce will be cheaper or are we just playing an elaborate game of economic charades?” one bemused shopper questioned while pondering the price of dumplings. With negotiations set to continue over the next three months, there’s a chance that this temporary reprieve could lead to more granular discussions about the future of trade. Or it could simply devolve into a series of increasingly absurd games of rock-paper-scissors, where tariffs the size of small countries are decided by the roll of a dice. As world leaders toast to their newfound "truce," the public remains skeptical, wondering if this is merely the eye of the storm. After all, no one wants to be that person holding the last can of beans when the tariffs inevitably return. In the meantime, buckle up—because in the wild world of trade politics, anything can happen in just 90 days!