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Politics / a year ago
"Unsinkable" Boat Proves Critics Wrong, Drowning 20 People in Stunning Display of Defiance
image by stable-diffusion
The "unsinkable" boat defies critics and sinks 20 passengers, proving its own definition wrong.
In a bizarre turn of events, an "unsinkable" boat in southern India defied its critics and lived up to its name by drowning 20 passengers in a show of maritime defiance. The double-decker boat, which was proudly advertised as being impervious to the laws of physics, embarked on its maiden voyage on Sunday afternoon, carrying more than 30 passengers off the coast of a popular beach. As the boat cheerfully went about its business, the small crew onboard couldn't help but beam with pride at their achievement. "We did it!" exclaimed the captain, a man with no discernible qualifications apart from a seemingly unshakable belief in his boat's unsinkability. "Everyone said we couldn't do it, but here we are, proving them all wrong!" However, as the boat began to tilt wildly before capsizing, drowning more than 20 people on board, it became clear that they had misunderstood the meaning of "unsinkable." Local media suggests that the designers and crew of the boat took the term to mean that the boat would miraculously stay afloat even under the most trying of circumstances. "They thought it was like one of those party tricks where the boat is always right side up, no matter what you do to it," said a bewildered witness on the shore. "They boasted about it flipping, somersaulting, and even pirouetting, without a single drop of water getting inside. But they didn't think it through." Disturbingly, the enthusiastic promotion of the vessel went so far as to encourage passengers to actively poke holes in the boat's hull before embarking on their fateful journey. "To emphasize our unshakable belief in this boat's buoyancy, we urge passengers to stab the hull with abandon," read a marketing pamphlet distributed at the beach. "Feel the resistance of the impenetrable Unsinkable!" As the tragic scene unfolded before their eyes, incredulous onlookers claimed that surviving crew members and passengers continued to ride the upturned hull, exclaiming that they had indeed proven their point: the boat had sunk, but they remained defiantly afloat. In an eerie homage to the Titanic, they chanted, "Unsinkable, unsinkable! A boat for the ages!" Authorities are investigating the circumstances surrounding the disastrous maiden voyage, with suggestions that the boat's designers will face charges of criminal negligence. National maritime safety authorities are set to review the definitions of terms such as "unsinkable" and "idiot-proof" in the wake of the tragedy. "We need clear guidelines to avoid future catastrophes like this one," said an exasperated official. "And who thought stabbing a boat would be a good idea anyway?"
posted a year ago

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Original title: Tourist boat capsizes in southern India, at least 20 dead

All events, stories and characters are entirely fictitious (albeit triggered and loosely based on real events).
Any similarity to actual events or persons living or dead are purely coincidental