In a state known for its vast open spaces and endless skies, Wyoming’s dream of harnessing the sun's energy has once again been dimmed, thanks to a coalition of the most unusual allies: ranchers, coal miners, and – wait for it – the just-passed local squirrel population. Yes, you read that right. A new proposal to expand rooftop solar energy has been thwarted not just by politics, but by the combined forces of an ad hoc committee of Wyoming's furry friends. In an impressive display of teamwork, a coalition of ranchers who refuse to give up their traditional ways and coal miners who feel just a smidge threatened by the possibility of clean energy came together to advocate for “more mature energy sources.” Their spokesperson, Bolivar the Stubborn, a 15-year-old horse who has been around longer than most of the politicians trying to squash the solar dream, voiced concerns about “putting shiny things on roofs that could confuse the local fauna.” Meanwhile, an impromptu meeting outside a local bar turned into an impassioned rally for Wyoming's notorious wildlife. A band of freshly caffeinated squirrels took to the stage to express their disapproval of the solar panels. “If solar panels go up, what’s next? A wormhole to an alien planet? We have enough issues with hawks!” chattered the leader, an elder squirrel named Nutty McNutface, who became a local sensation for his fiery speeches and questionable fashion choices—think a tattered baseball cap and a gold chain made from acorns. The county’s newest ordinances have already made it illegal to install rooftop solar unless the panels are disguised as traditional Western decor. Proponents of solar energy had famously suggested “solar shingles,” but with recent trends leaning towards a more rustic aesthetic, many remained unconvinced. “I mean, why not just slap some hay bales on the roof instead? Those blend right in with the landscape!” exclaimed Frida Flatlander, a local ranch owner who prefers her sunlight as unfiltered as possible. Meanwhile, state government officials, who traditionally play the role of villains in many solar stories, have taken a novel approach to get ahead of the game. They proposed a 5% discount on new cowboy hats for those who bookmark the most hashtags about renewable energy and pledge allegiance to their methane-producing livestock. Of course, the majority of state legislators already have hats with more feathers than ideas for actual policy change. As Wyoming’s shimmers of rooftop solar hope flicker unresolved, the local chamber of commerce organized a festival titled “No Solar, Just Coal,” promising a weekend of barbeque, line dancing, and—in a startling twist—an obligatory workshop on the dangers of excessive sunlight. Timmy the Coal Car, formerly a proud trucker and now a performance artist, will headline the festival with a monologue about the undue risks of sunburn—a crisis more immediate, it seems, than the impending climate doom. Thus, Wyoming’s rooftop solar dreams continue to dim under the weight of tradition, furry intervention, and the undeniable allure of a life unburdened by clean energy. Who needs sunlight when there are plenty of excuses and local ordinances to keep the status quo glowing? It seems that for the foreseeable future, if you want to soak up the sun in Wyoming, you’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way—by taking a road trip to a neighboring state and hoping the squirrels don't stop you along the way.