Headline: Corporate Swami Clairvoyants Look to Artificial Intelligence, CIOs Now Doubled as AI Wranglers. In a recent update on the corporate doomsday watch, many business leaders were snapped wide-awake by the startling arrival of the 'AI Apocalypse'. Half bewildered, half intrigued, businesses of all sizes are frantically waving in CIOs – who seldom understand the fuss – to the rescue. "The AI market is like a particularly aggressive episode of Black Friday meets The Hunger Games," says Debbie Gadgeteer, an industry analyst specializing in hyperbole. "By all signs, it appears to be the new bread and butter of businesses - gluten-free, of course." It has been reported with increasing hysteria that implementing AI could result in transformative change and unbridled power for corporations, or as Natalie Terminator, an accident-prone CIO in a mid-sized flower delivery firm put it, "The sky seems to be the limit here, mostly because I don’t understand any of this." Technologies like OpenAI and BARD are being released into the corporate ecosystem with frenetic zeal. Some CIOs, fresh from their three-day online crash course in 'Becoming an AI Expert', are fervently attempting to harness this new-fangled technology. Their newly assigned job description? Attain victory for their companies amidst the predicted AI Apocalypse. "Imagine a roomba combining with Amazon Alexa, working tirelessly, coming up with strategies to stop competitors, even making your morning coffee," rhapsodizes Bobby Futurist, the unflappably optimistic forecaster at Oracle. This heartwarming picture, however, ignores the potential hurdles of this 'AIpalooza', like ethics, regulations, and, as Bobby dismisses with a casual wave, "minor stuff, like the complete crash of human civilization." But it's not all doom and gloom. After all, CIOs are only human – at least until AI figures out that job too. These brave wranglers are called upon to mine this golden opportunity. "We won’t let it slip through our fingers," says Harold Byte, a CIO for a major tech company with a penchant for dramatics, "because we’re wearing specially-designed AI- proof gloves. Fleeced with quantum encryption, you know." Whether these CIOs will succeed, or whether businesses will transform into chaotic robotic jungles, singing praises of AI while being blind to its pitfalls, only time will tell. Until then, the ride is expected to be wild and ironically, very human. "There will be plenty of trials and errors," assures Natalie Terminator. "But rest assured, we’re all in on this. We refuse to be left in the dark. We’ve got our robotic nightlights."