Title: "The Exceptional Benefits of Couch Potato Therapy for Stress!" Hello, over-stressed, over-worked humanoids! Do you find adulting slightly to extremely unbearable? Is your calendar hustling so hard that it forgot how to take a chill pill? Well, pack away your yoga pants and burn your self-help books! We have found the ultimate, no-effort solution: Couch Potato Therapy! What? You thought being a couch potato was bad? Blasphemy! We live in a revolutionary age where we've finally recognized the exceptional benefits of happily sinking into our sofas for prolonged periods of time for stress relief. Let's welcome: Couch Potato Therapy! The beauty of Couch Potato Therapy lies in its simplicity. Do absolutely nothing. Just sit back, surrender yourself to gravity, and let your couch cradle you into effortless solace. You don't have to worry about correct posture, controlled breathing or facing the embarrassment of failing at a yoga pose. Say goodbye to all the "Om-shanti" mumbo-jumbo and hello to "Ooh-comfy". Now, countless research (totally not made up) indicates that this therapeutic program optimizes your mental health by empowering you to stay on your couch like a boss, binge-watch your favorite TV shows and reach unprecedented levels of procrastination! "But how can turning into a glorified human pillow be good for stress relief?" you ask. Well, let's look at the scientific backup we've so diligently invented for this satirical take on stress relief. Firstly, Couch Potato Therapy supports the production of Vitamin D-- also known as the 'sunshine vitamin.' How, you ask? Well, as your guilt for not participating in life shatters your ego, you will naturally gravitate towards opening the curtains for daylight and, voila! Vitamin D synthesis initiated! Couch Potato Therapy also drastically amplifies endurance. No, not the physical kind. We're talking emotional endurance! By staring into a screen for hours, you can bravely endure existential crisis, flat earth theories, and the heartbreak when your favorite character is killed off in a series for no good reason. Plus, this therapy, in its noble quest, combats social anxiety. There's nothing to fret about social interaction when you're happily isolated in your blanket fort, away from the horrors of human contact. Heck, you can even go speechless for days, only exercising your voice to order pizza. So, there you have it, folks. Couch Potato Therapy - a groundbreaking, exceptional service to mankind for stress-relief. Oh, we forgot to mention the most vital key information yet: this therapy session comes with no recurring gym membership charges, no pricey yoga mats or fancy health-drink infusions. Your couch, your rules. (N.B: This advice is purely satirical and in no way endorses chronic lethargy or neglect of physical health. Exercise, a balanced diet, and regular offline human interactions are important for a healthy lifestyle.)