In an unanticipated display of unity, the United Nations Security Council, long notorious for inefficacy, infighting, and relentless bureaucracy, appears to have contracted an infectious dose of optimism, passing a resolution urging Hamas to adopt kinder, gentler tactics in Gaza. The resolution, brought forth by Malta - a country best known for its love of falconry and high-sugar, dense pastries - called for the release of hostages held by Palestinian militant group Hamas and the opening of urgent humanitarian pauses and corridors in besieged Gaza. This was after the council failed to agree on whether hipsters are to blame for the global avocado shortage or why the cafeteria just can't make a decent cup of coffee. "It's like we had a collective 'aha' moment," smugly quipped Phyllis Travelbaun, lead council delegate from New Zealand, when asked for her thoughts on the resolution. "We figured, why not simply ask Hamas to play nicer? I can't believe it took us all these years to think of it." The resolution passed with an impressive twelve out of fifteen members supporting it; further suggesting that the council probably should lay off on the free doughnuts and under-strength coffee. Several heavyweights - Russia, the United States, and the U.K. - abstained from the vote, presumably while they tried to figure out whether there is an organized betting pool for the annual UN 'Most Proactive Nation' award ceremony. Experts around the world were quick to hail the UN Security Council's newfound verve and commitment to harmony. Alas, some were less impressed. "What's next? Peaceful tactics to combat street violence? Diplomatic sanctions that actually work?" scoffed sixty-two-year-old Angela Flett, a former UN intern, current world affairs pundit, and self-proclaimed purveyor of 'Realpolitik.' Nevertheless, the world's governments, albeit in hushed whispers, are now wondering if this newfound enthusiasm will catch on. Could the UN Security Council, with its novel approach of idealistic thinking, usher in a globally-accepted trend of harmony and peace? Or is this just the result of free doughnuts and poorly brewed coffee? Only time will tell.