LONDON - UK parents, brace yourselves, for your outdoor escapades are under grave threat. The impending doom of climate catastrophe is encroaching upon the sanctity of your beloved family outings, a new study warns. If swift and serious actions are not taken to curb the wrath of the environmental menace, parents across the nation will be forced to endure an avalanche of indoor activities and, God forbid, genuine bonding time with their offspring. The seminal study revealed that climate disasters could disrupt cherished British traditions such as the annual rainy picnic, begrudging hikes in the drizzle, and suffering by the cold, grey seaside. Parents are warned to act now, or risk spending quality indoor time with their children — a dire consequence, since some parents have experienced a nearly 100% decrease in social media screen time during such calamities. The author of the study, Dr. Proper Gander, stated that the impact of climate change on the nation's children will be more perilous than previously imagined. "We are on the verge of losing the cherished ability to roll our eyes at their misery during a rain-soaked camping trip or protesting their boredom in the backseat of a car during a mandatory heritage site visit," lamented Gander. "Playing through adversity is a rite of passage, and one, we're in danger of losing to future generations." The findings have shaken the stoic British populace to their very core. Fearing the worst, one concerned father lamented, "I mean, what's next? We are forced to play Monopoly in the living room, without any distraction? Or shall we have to clear the table for a puzzle? Climate change will inevitably force us to redefine what it means to be British, and that is a truly dreary fate." The report passionately urges parents across the UK to act now, outlining necessary steps to conquer climate change in a bid to salvage their inherently dreadful outdoor escapes. Many have been encouraged to "think outside the box" by simply storing every piece of litter in their cars, rather than leaving a breadcrumb trail of greasy fish-and-chip wrappers behind at every picnic spot. The environmental agency has also issued a friendly reminder that when parents toss their children’s muddy shoes from the garage into the bin, they are literally tossing the privilege of post-hike grumbles into oblivion. Now is the time to act and save the joys of hardened British cynicism, lest we become a nation of tender-hearted romantics and satisfied homebodies. The urgency of the situation has spread across social media, with celebrities such as Sir David Attenborough joining the charge under the hashtag #FrigginFreezingGetawaysMatter. The beloved broadcaster has reportedly relocated the filming of his new documentary series from the frozen serenity of Antarctica to the bleak shores of Blackpool in solidarity with the nation's families. If there has ever been a time to act against climate change, this is it. The very essence of British culture is at risk, as well as the solitude of parental escape. Will we rise to the challenge and protect our unique traditions, or shall we watch them fade indoors, in the warm embrace of family life? Only time will tell.