**Uganda Aims for world's Most Homophobic Nation Title: Death Penalty for Gay Acts, Government-Issued Rainbow Repellents Next?** KAMPALA, Uganda - In a bold and innovative move to secure its position as the world's Most Homophobic Nation, Uganda has upped the ante by allowing for the death penalty for homosexual acts. The legislation, labeled by some as the new "Hate and Dehumanization Bill," has been met with both international criticism and admiration from those seeking new, cutting-edge ways to discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community. Following this decisive and audacious statement, Uganda is reportedly considering additional groundbreaking schemes, such as government-issued rainbow repellents and compulsory heterosexuality workshops. Sources within the government have revealed the creation of a Ministry of Homophobia to spearhead Uganda's global campaign for the top spot. President Yoweri Museveni, seeking his 36th consecutive term in office, dismissed international criticism as "mere sour grapes," claiming that the law "is a national treasure that will catapult Uganda to the apex of intolerance and discrimination." Museveni expressed confidence that other nations, currently lagging behind in the homophobia race, will soon follow suit. "This is but the tip of the iceberg," he added ominously. A survey conducted by the newly minted Ministry of Homophobia revealed a majority of Ugandans support initiatives like rainbow repellent, believing it to be a powerful tool against "sinister gay mind-control rays." Another popular suggestion was the establishment of "Heterosexual Healing Centers," aimed to "de-gayify" unsuspecting victims of homosexuality. Local bigot and aspiring entrepreneur, Grumpy Gitmugabi, shared his enthusiasm for the new legislation. "I've been working on my own prototype for a rainbow repellant, so I'm thrilled that the government's supporting this initiative. I'm hoping to secure some funding and soon start mass-producing my Homophobe Home Defense Kit™." A spokesperson for the Ministry addressed the already existing anti-LGBTQ+ laws, saying, "Look, we already had life imprisonment for gays, but it just wasn't enough. We decided to raise the stakes to gain world-renowned disgust. With our new laws, we're setting an imprudent benchmark for other aspiring homophobic nations." Meanwhile, experts have hailed the legislation as a boon for human rights injustice, with comparisons to historic bigotry milestones such as Apartheid South Africa and Nazi Germany. Renowned historian Brent Mysogynistson was quoted as saying, "We may have entered a new golden age of discrimination – one we haven't seen for at least a few decades." In light of Uganda's unprecedented push for the world's Most Homophobic Nation title, one can't help but question which country will be the next to join the race to the bottom.