In a bold and unprecedented move, former President Donald Trump announced that he is issuing an executive order to address TikTok's fate in the United States, a platform that has been at the center of legislative ping-pong for far too long. The crux of Trump's TikTok time-out is simple: if Congress couldn't get its act together, he would just do the hokey pokey and turn it all around himself. Donning his finest dance shoes, Trump took to Truth Social to unveil his master plan, declaring any companies that helped keep TikTok from disappearing into the digital void will face absolutely no repercussions—because who needs accountability when you can just throw a party? “No liability!” he exclaimed. “It's a dance-off, and trust me, I’ll be winning this one.” The sweeping order arrives after Congress passed a law—nothing quite as dramatic as a royal decree, but close enough—that Biden signed in a move that traders on Wall Street reportedly cheered louder than when the stock market spikes on a rumor of donuts in the break room. This law allowed for a 90-day extension of TikTok’s stay in the U.S., provided a sale was looming on the horizon like a proposal at a high school prom. But here’s where it gets sticky: one thorny legal reality, according to expert Sarah Kreps of Cornell University, is whether that very provision can be applied retroactively. In other words, does that mean if TikTok were to retroactively set up a lemonade stand outside of Congress to entice lawmakers into a deal, it could get another month—or does it fall under the “you snooze, you lose” category? In his announcement, Trump promised that the order would be more dazzling than a Super Bowl halftime show combined with an unexpected cameo by a celebrity chef. “It’s time for more TikTok dance battles instead of dance-offs in Congress,” he cavorted, claiming the platforms should foster creativity instead of finger-pointing. With an official White House TikTok account expected to be launched imminently, we can only hope the content will include Trump-inspired dance moves—perhaps a mashup of “The Chicken Dance” spliced with political speeches—if only to remind current lawmakers that keeping the lights on at TikTok should not involve a game of legal chicken. So while Congress is busy brushing the crumbs off its lapels after the last buffet-style deliberation, Trump is looking to TikTok for a new platform to showcase not only his dancing prowess but also his ability to sidestep the meticulousness of legislative detail. Who knew a social media app would become the backdrop for America's most electrifying soap opera? In the meantime, as the nation holds its collective breath for the fate of TikTok, we’re left to ponder: Will the order lead to a viral revival of online dance battles, or will the legal system take center stage in a never-ending legislative waltz? Only time—and perhaps an impractical TikTok challenge—will tell.