In an unexpected twist in the high-stakes game of political musical chairs, President-elect Trump has reportedly chosen Linda McMahon, former CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, to lead the Department of Education. Instead of grappling in the wrestling ring, McMahon is set to take her talents to school boards across the nation, promising to body-slam educational dysfunction. "This is a victory for all those who believe education should be as thrilling as a Steel Cage Match," Trump declared during a press conference where he performed a dramatic high-kick while announcing McMahon’s appointment. "She knows how to build a show, and frankly, we need a little more showmanship in our schools—test scores are just data, folks!" Critics immediately raised their eyebrows at the prospect of a wrestling mogul in charge of education. “What’s next? Are we going to have an actual ring in the school gym?” asked an incredulous Sen. Thune, who warned that the ICC might actually ban recess due to excessive roughhousing. “I mean, at least she’s qualified to administer some tough love." In an exclusive Fox News interview, Cotton added that McMahon’s experience managing larger-than-life personalities in the WWE will be essential to navigating the “diva dynamics” of school boards. “Let’s face it,” he said, “when you’ve survived the likes of The Undertaker and Triple H, negotiating with teachers' unions will be a walk in the park—albeit a heavily monitored, referee-approved park.” With McMahon at the helm, educational priorities are expected to shift dramatically. Sources within the Transition Team hint at a new curriculum that will feature “History of Rasslin’” as a mandatory class and “How to Execute a Perfect Suplex” as a practical life-skill workshop. A pilot program is already in the works, promising students hands-on experience in conflict resolution through simulated wrestling matches over common core debates. Meanwhile, critics have also expressed concern over her proposed initiative to replace traditional school board meetings with public “Rumble Royales,” arguing this could lead to violence over funding allocations. “It’s simply not a productive way to settle disagreements,” lamented one educator. "Have you seen a wrestling-themed bake sale? It’s chaos!” As this political spectacle unfolds, all eyes will be on McMahon's first day in office, where she’s expected to greet staff with a dramatic entrance—complete with fireworks and a theme song performed by a surprise guest star. “After all,” she quipped in a post-announcement press release, “who’s ready to tag-team their way to educational excellence?” Stay tuned as America braces itself for a new era of ‘Playground Politics’ that promises more thrills, more spills, and certainly, more smackdowns than ever before.