In a groundbreaking move that has left experts scratching their heads and space enthusiasts cheering, President Trump has officially signed an executive order aimed at expanding access to in vitro fertilization (IVF). However, there is one small catch: the only available clinics will be located on Mars. Amidst a backdrop of declining fertility rates in the U.S., the President’s innovative solution to the nation’s reproductive challenges comes with a twist that has many questioning the practicality of what could be the most ambitious healthcare initiative since the invention of the Band-Aid. "It's very simple," Trump declared at a press conference flanked by models of the Martian landscape. "We’re just going to make IVF affordable for everyone... if you can hitch a ride to Mars!" While the executive order promises to lower financial barriers and reduce the costs of IVF treatments, details remain vague on how prospective parents will navigate the astronomical travel costs or the lack of actual clinics on Mars. "We're working on it!" said an anonymous White House aide, who was clearly not briefed on the logistics of space travel. "We're confident Elon Musk will sort it out. Have you seen how fast he builds things?" To accommodate this bold initiative, the administration has even proposed subsidies for space transportation, potentially partnering with SpaceX to offer “IVF Express” missions. “Our slogan will be ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way – to Mars!’” said a jubilant official. Critics of the plan have expressed their disbelief, pointing out that Mars is primarily composed of barren landscapes and has no known medical facilities or qualified specialists in reproductive health. In response, a spokesperson for the Trump administration stated that they are conducting extensive research and development. “We think there might be some Martians who could help,” they claimed. “After all, who knows better about alien reproduction than extraterrestrials?” While the executive order will be accompanied by a comprehensive list of policy recommendations to follow in 90 days, skeptics are left pondering the implications for couples struggling with fertility on Earth. “We didn’t think our biggest hurdle would be finding a rocket!” lamented a hopeful parent-to-be. “I just wanted to get some help, not book a ticket to another planet.” Meanwhile, the general public has decided to embrace the absurdity of the situation. Social media is buzzing with memes of expectant parents in SpaceX gear carrying IVF kits while reluctantly drifting away from their beloved planet. A number of “Baby on Mars” merchandise sites have even launched—with items ranging from T-shirts to novelty space diapers, all featuring slogans like "Martian Miracle!” As Trump boldly charts new territory in healthcare, America waits impatiently—and somewhat hilariously—to see if the next step in IVF advancements involves a countdown timer or if we should start packing our bags for the Red Planet. The news of IVF clinics on Mars not only highlights the lengths the administration will go to address declining birth rates, but also raises an important question: do we really want our future generations starting life on another planet? After all, someone has to pay for those rocket rides!