In a shocking twist that surprised absolutely no one, bank stocks are having a love affair with the memory of Donald Trump, while the S&P 500, is off somewhere contemplating the meaning of life—possibly napping in a sunbeam. The Financial Select Sector SPDR Fund (XLF), affectionately known as “The Bankroll Brigade,” has managed to climb more than 6% since the last election day, despite the fact that most Americans still can’t figure out how to pay their student loans without selling a kidney. But alas, no good romance lasts forever. On Tuesday, “The Bankroll Brigade” decided to take a breather and plummeted more than 3%, because what's a good market story without a little drama? Analysts are now furrowing their brows and sipping their coffee, attempting to decipher whether this decline is the beginning of the end or just a coffee break before the next big rally. Meanwhile, the tariffs rolled out by the Trump administration are making their presence felt, reminiscent of an uninvited party guest who drinks all your beer and won't leave until dawn. With Trump reinstating those pesky tariff plans he initially championed during his last episode of "Apprentice: Presidency Edition," Wall Street is collectively doing the math on how many companies will be affected this time. Spoiler alert: it's as many as the number of lawsuits filed against Trump—an infinite amount. In a moment of rare candor, Wall Street strategists have taken off their blinders long enough to express skepticism over whether these tariffs will even see the light of day in full force. With whispers that this might just be another episode of “Tariff or Not Tariff?” they’ve started issuing warning signs, akin to what you might see in a poorly made horror film. “It's like watching a slow train wreck,” says one anonymous trader, while trying to sound profound during their yoga class. In the meantime, the S&P 500 appears unbothered, lounging on the sidelines brazenly declaring that it believes in "self-care" and that volatility is so last season. Market analysts suggest this trend of bank stocks rebounding while the S&P takes its midday skincare routine signifies a deep philosophical crisis, where the banks are actually leaving the S&P in the dust after the latter decided to become an Instagram influencer. As if in response to its slumbering detachment from reality, the S&P is rumored to be dialing up motivational speakers for a pick-me-up. Word is that the selection committee is considering hiring Aesop for his fables about the tortoise and the hare—because apparently slow and steady may yet win the race, even in a market run by a former reality TV star. In conclusion, while bank stocks dance their exuberant tango, buoyed by the magic remnants of “Trump trades,” and the S&P 500 debates whether it needs a smoothie cleanse, we’re left wondering if all this will lead to a financial renaissance or just a viral meme. As always, only time—and perhaps a few more tweets—will tell.