In a shocking move that has sent ripples through the entertainment industry, former President Donald Trump has announced a 100% tariff on all foreign films, raising the stakes and ticket prices to dizzying heights. In his latest Truth Social post that many experts believe may have required a crayon for clarity, Trump stated, “This is a concerted effort by other Nations and, therefore, a National Security threat. It is, in addition to everything else, messaging and propaganda!” While the details of how this tariff will be enforced remain as vague as a bad plot twist in a B-movie, industry insiders are already scrambling to recalculate their production budgets. Sources report that Hollywood blockbusters, which previously cost around $10 to watch, will now be available for a cool $30, provided they're not simultaneously pulled from theaters due to logistical panic. “It’s just part of the plan,” Trump’s representatives said in a press briefing filled with more questions than answers. “Why watch a foreign film filled with social commentary when you can enjoy American-made classics like ‘Dances with Wolves’ on repeat? We have to protect our way of life!” In response to the tariff, numerous foreign films are reportedly considering rebranding themselves as patriotic films, with titles like “Fast & Furious: American Freedom” and “Frozen 3: Winter in America.” Avalanches and snowmen are now viewed as symbols of rugged individualism, and the popular “What Does the Fox Say?” might just get rewritten to “What Does the Eagle Say?” to emphasize its American spirit. The international film community has been swift to respond. China, already feeling the pressure from the tariffs, appeared to counter Trump’s move by threatening a ban on American movies. In retaliation, Hollywood is madly fast-tracking a superhero flick starring a government-subsidized eagle battling against foreign genres. Rumors are swirling that the plot will involve an American ticket scalper, played by a CGI-enhanced Trump, who is bent on saving cinema from the clutches of foreign influence. Meanwhile, cinema chains are preparing for the potential fallout. One major chain announced their plans to introduce “Tariff Tuesdays,” where moviegoers can watch any American film for just $5, but only if they bring their own popcorn from home. “This is a win-win,” said the chain’s CEO, who remains anonymous for safety reasons. “Not only do we protect our theaters, but we also promote anti-import sentiment, one soggy popcorn kernel at a time.” As the film industry braces for the impact, many are left wondering if the grand spectacle of Hollywood will survive this tariff catastrophe or if we’re destined for a cinematic wasteland where the only remaining films are poorly-dubbed versions of ’80s action flicks. For now, audiences can only wait and see if they’ll still be able to catch the latest blockbusters at their local theaters or if they’ll be limited to reruns of “The Office” streamed from the comfort of their own homes, sans popcorn and patriotic fervor.