In a stunning turn of events that has bewildered economists and amused auto enthusiasts alike, President Donald Trump has decided to swap his beloved tariff tantrums for a newfound love of cars. "I like cars more than confrontation!" the President declared during a press conference that had all the formality of a schoolyard game of tag. This revelation came just as the stock market sky-rocketed in response to Trump announcing he would let auto manufacturers off the hook for some of his eyebrow-raising tariffs. The news spread faster than a viral TikTok dance, sending the automotive industry into a collective cheer heard all the way from Detroit to Tokyo. “Who needs trade wars when you can turn the world into one giant car show?” Trump continued, gesturing wildly as he unveiled his latest policy initiative: “The Make Auto Great Again” plan. Critics of the President were quick to comment on the abrupt shift, quipping that perhaps he had finally watched 'Cars' for the first time and was inspired by Lightning McQueen’s unyielding spirit. Industry insiders reported that manufacturers were buzzing with excitement over the potential of no longer facing a hefty 25 percent tariff—suddenly American-built trucks and SUVs seemed more appealing than ever. “I always say, if you can’t beat 'em, drive 'em. And we’d much rather drive without the extra tax,” laughed one automaker executive. Meanwhile, Trump’s political opponents began to worry. “How will we ever challenge his authority now that he has affinity for four-wheeled friends?” lamented one lawmaker, who refused to engage in any conversation that didn't involve a discussion of hybrid engines. As April came to a close, the President’s newfound relationship with cars was highlighted by an elaborate photo-op featuring him behind the wheel of a shiny new electric vehicle, a move that left environmentalists scratching their heads in disbelief. “From tariffs to Teslas, what’s next, a free gas giveaway?” one activist pondered. In a related development, it appears that the President is also initiating a ‘Cars Not Tariffs’ public awareness campaign, complete with flashy bumper stickers and an endless supply of car air fresheners emblazoned with his slogan. “Let’s drive together, folks!” he exclaimed, promising future trade policies would be delivered on a Highway to Prosperity—complete with roadside attractions of American muscle cars. Experts suggest this latest move could lead to a new era in trade relations, breaking down barriers through sheer horsepower and an impractical amount of chrome. However, only time will tell if this thrilling ride will steer the U.S. economy back on track or plunge it into a pothole of confusion. For now, the expansion of the auto industry and the promise of no more tariff tantrums seem to be winning the day, leaving everyone to wonder if the only thing Trump enjoys revving up now is the engine of a brand new Cadillac.