In a bold and unprecedented move, former President Donald Trump has unveiled plans for a monumental $500 billion Neural Network Overpass, a sprawling infrastructure project designed to connect human brains with artificial intelligence—literally. The project, dubbed “Stargate,” aims to eliminate traffic jams by enabling commuters to “think” their way to their destinations, effectively turning stalled highways into a realm of pure mental teleportation. Flanked by tech giants OpenAI, Oracle, and SoftBank, Trump declared that this groundbreaking partnership would revolutionize transportation as we know it. “Why sit in traffic when you can just imagine yourself at work?” he exclaimed, while waving his hands animatedly. “This is gonna be YUGE! We’re talking about creating a pathway that combines the power of AI with the brains of every American. Literally. You won’t even need a car anymore!” The ambitious initial investment of $100 billion will be allocated toward the construction of gigantic neural hubs, where citizens will sit in plush chairs equipped with advanced cranial sensors. These sensors will read and interpret commuters' thoughts, instantly translating their desire to reach “Joe’s Deli” into a direct neural pathway—no more missed exits or wrong turns. “Think of it as Uber, but for your brain!” Trump quipped, pausing for dramatic effect before adding, “And without any pesky drivers.” Critics have raised eyebrows, questioning the practicality and ethical implications of merging human thought with artificial intelligence on such a grand scale. “What happens if someone thinks about pizza while driving?” one public skeptic fretted. “Do we just reroute them through Little Italy? It seems like a recipe for disaster!” In response, Trump reassured the public: “We’ll have AI carefully analyze thoughts to filter out any distractions like hunger or ‘should I have taken that job offer?’ All we care about is the destination. And trust me, it’ll be safer than texting while driving!” To further bolster the initiative, the Trump administration has promised to create a series of “think lanes” on highways, where drivers can pull over and upload their thoughts to the Stargate system. Motorists would simply close their eyes and concentrate, while the AI would handle the rest—essentially turning the highway into a virtual amusement park of thought. While some transport officials expressed concerns about how traffic laws would apply in the realm of mental navigation, Trump was undeterred. “Just like we don’t need to explain how weather works to the people!” he proclaimed. “It’s all about results—no one cares if it doesn’t make sense as long as they get where they’re going.” As the announcement concluded, tech supporters and investors cheered, envisioning a world where traffic jams become an archaic concept, and bumpers-to-bumper traffic are replaced by smooth, non-stop cosmic thought transit. With Stargate set to launch its first phase in Texas, one can’t help but wonder: Will humanity embrace the future of mental highways, or will we find ourselves stuck in the slower lane of skepticism? Only time—and a few collective brainwaves—will tell.