In a bold move that has left economists scratching their heads and car enthusiasts cheering, former President Donald Trump has announced a sweeping plan to enact a 25% tariff on imported cars, all while introducing his new initiative: the mandatory placement of 'Buy American' stickers on all U.S. vehicles, to ensure every driver is reminded of their patriotic duty. “Why drive a car made by foreign hands when you can support good, old American muscle?” Trump declared at a press conference, waving a gigantic 'Buy American' sticker like it was a winning lottery ticket. “Let’s show them that the only thing we want from other countries are their best taco recipes, not their cars!” Analysts have jumped into the fray, predicting that the tariffs could lead to widespread chaos in car production, dramatically higher prices for consumers, and strained relations with countries that previously supplied the U.S. with high-quality vehicles. “It's like putting ketchup on a fine steak,” one economist commented, adding, “and don’t even get me started on the automotive parts. They come from everywhere.” In a show of solidarity, Mexican car manufacturers are reportedly contemplating shifting their production focus toward taco-making machines, while Japanese automakers have nostalgically begun production of cassette players, a reminder of the '90s era when American cars were still allowed to have character. Meanwhile, Canadian beer has been branded as the unofficial alternative to the increasing cost of American-made cars as residents prepare for their new transit options. In an innovative twist, Trump’s administration has implied that American citizens will receive a free ‘Buy American’ bumper sticker with every car purchase. “Think of it as a badge of honor,” Trump said, “Because, frankly, you’ll need all the honor you can get when your new Ford costs as much as a small house!” As if the sticker initiative wasn’t enough, the administration is working on a campaign titled “Sticker Shock,” which aims to condition Americans to be proud of their increasingly unaffordable cars. “If you can’t afford it, you’re not trying hard enough!” Trump proclaimed, hinting at future initiatives that might include patriotic jingles to be played each time a driver steps into an American vehicle. International relations experts are unnerved by the impending fallout from the tariffs, fearing that it could lead to a trade war over automotive pride. “What’s next? A ban on French fries?” an exasperated Canadian diplomat quipped. As the dust settles from this shocking announcement, potential buyers have begun scouring their garages for hidden car flags while practicing their best 'Buy American' slogans. One enthusiastic driver was overheard saying, “If I’m going to spend my life savings on a car, it’s going to have more stars and stripes than a Fourth of July parade!” Trump, however, remains optimistic. "Remember folks, no sticker, no ride! Let's keep America driving. Especially if it’s all uphill.” Only time will tell whether this gamble on tariffs will pay off or leave Americans standing at empty dealerships holding nothing but their patriotic pride and a collection of 'Buy American' decals.