In a surprising turn of events, President Donald Trump has announced his decision to impose a 25% tariff on both Canada and Mexico, declaring that he is "excited to ruin trade relations one 25% at a time!" This revelation comes as the President expressed his firm belief that negotiations with the two countries have reached a dead end—much like his plans for a peaceful Taco Tuesday. Standing at the White House podium, Trump stated, "They're all set. They go into effect tomorrow," as the crowd of reporters scratched their heads in confusion, wondering if the tariffs would also apply to their lunch orders. Analysts suggested that the decision would not only escalate tensions but also make it significantly more expensive for many Americans who were already grappling with the high cost of guacamole. As stocks plummeted in response to the news, one White House advisor remarked, “It’s like watching a child throw a tantrum in a candy store. Meanwhile, the adults are tearing their hair out wondering how we’ll pay for all this candy now that it’s been marked up 25%.” In reaction to Trump’s latest escapade, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau responded with a sharp, “Just when we thought our biggest problem was keeping American tourists from eating all our poutine!” Meanwhile, Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador distributed extra sombreros to his citizens, insisting that, “If the trade war is on, we might as well look good while it lasts!” As usual, social media exploded with reactions. Memes of Trump angrily cradling a piggy bank alongside the slogan “Save for a Rainy Day… But Not This One!” began circulating faster than you can say "NAFTA." Many observers noted that the tariffs seemed to reflect a larger strategy: “It’s like he’s playing Monopoly with a child’s playset—only instead of getting Park Place, he’s just jacking up the rent!” With trade relations on the line, it remains to be seen whether the heavy-handed tariffs will inspire Canada and Mexico to bring Trump fresh-baked cookies in negotiation or, conversely, crank up their own tariffs on American exports—perhaps even starting a new snack war. For now, all eyes are on the White House, where the President appears to have donned his negotiation helmet instead of his diplomatic cap, ready to wage his tariffs against the "evil" trading allies he once called friends. “Remember, folks,” Trump concluded, “25% off isn’t a discount; it’s just the price of making America great again—one tariff at a time!”