In a dazzling display of political acrobatics, former President Donald Trump has once again showcased his unparalleled talent for theatrical governance, pulling off a stunning comeback for Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) staff members he had previously dismissed. In a move that could only be described as “business as usual,” the master of the art of the deal swiftly rescinded his own decision, proving that in politics, it's all just one big performance. With the grace of a seasoned showman, Trump gathered the ousted EPA staff for a grand ceremony—held in the lobby of a high-rise building that suspiciously resembled a Trump Tower. He regaled the room with stories of his “tremendous” environmental policies, which he claimed were so effective that they made “cleaning the swamp” look like a leisurely stroll in Central Park. The staff, who had moments earlier been contemplating their career paths on Indeed.com, were welcomed back with applause that echoed through the gilded halls. Witnesses described the scene as a cross between a family reunion and an over-the-top reality TV finale. “It was as if they had all just survived a group elimination challenge,” reported one unimpressed observer. “You could sense the relief in the room as long-forgotten HR policies and health benefits were suddenly back on the table like a half-eaten buffet.” As Trump rambled on about how he single-handedly saved the environment while adorning himself with a hard hat, one former EPA staff member, who left amid the dismissals, leaned over and mused, “I hope I’m getting back pay for the emotional strain of those two weeks.” Despite the rapid-fire turnaround in policy, seasoned political analysts were quick to note that this entire charade was merely a strategic pivot in preparation for the upcoming election cycles. “It’s classic Trump,” mentioned one such analyst, "He knows how to keep a revolving door swinging. Everyone's either in or out, depending on his mood and the latest Twitter poll.” To celebrate their reinstatement, the EPA staff was gifted mugs featuring the slogan “Make the Environment Great Again,” as well as a complimentary subscription to “Climate Change Is Fake News,” a journalistic endeavor spearheaded by a group of highly qualified influencers. As the evening transpired, Trump threw in a few heavy-handed jabs at his political adversaries, accusing them of wanting to “destroy businesses and all that I’ve built” by enforcing regulations that he claims “nobody understands.” According to sources, the audience was too busy polishing their mugs to respond appropriately. As Trump concluded his remarks with a flourish—promising to extend the tenure of the EPA employees indefinitely as long as they kept their mouths shut and their data sanitized—one might think a fairy tale had been woven out of chaos. But the underlying truth remained: in the world of Trump's politics, you never have to worry about job security, as long as you're willing to forget the past and embrace the gift of ambiguity. Tomorrow will surely mark yet another exciting episode in this political soap opera, and who knows? The EPA staff might find themselves starring in a brand-new spinoff titled “Cleaning Up Washington.” Keep those mugs handy, folks.