In a bold move indicative of his commitment to turning the Oval Office into a military recruitment center, President-elect Donald J. Trump has selected Michael Waltz, a former Green Beret and current Florida Congressman, as his national security adviser. Those familiar with the decision are already buzzing about the unprecedented urgency he brings to the role—along with a collection of tactical backpacks and a lifetime supply of protein bars. As Trump reshuffles his team, critics are left wondering why every person in a suit around the president seems to come with a side of camouflage. It isn’t enough that the inauguration will feature an ensemble of military veterans; now we’ll have one spearheading national security policy. The White House is expected to host motivational speeches featuring chants of “Hooah!” and nightly briefings on how to properly transition from combat zones to conference rooms. Waltz, known for his hawkish stance on China—who, by the way, still does not seem to take him seriously—has called for a stronger U.S. presence overseas. One suspects he envisions an administration where every cabinet meeting features military drills instead of dull discussions. Rumor has it that all participants will now be issued combat boots instead of loafers. The impending appointment has drawn praise from some quarters of the GOP, many of whom seem to prefer their foreign policy served with a side of MREs (Meals Ready-to-Eat). At the same time, the rest of the world is bracing for endless PowerPoint presentations on counterterrorism, delivered in fatigues, punctuated by the sound of simulated gunfire. In a statement, Waltz expressed enthusiasm about the position, promising, "I've always believed in blending military expertise with diplomacy. Why not negotiate arms treaties over a game of dodgeball?" Observers have noted that this could lead to a new era of foreign relations—one where trade deals are negotiated on the basketball court, and national security briefings come with tactical drills on how to take cover during a press conference. As the Trump administration gears up, many are left wondering if tomorrow's leaders will wear stars on their uniforms or just stay in their lanes... provided they have the right camo pattern. One thing is for certain: if you thought the swamp was deep before, just wait until the military gets settled in.