In a bold move that could only be described as the financial version of a game of hot potato, President Donald Trump has taken to Twitter to demand that Walmart step up to the plate and “swallow the cost” of rising prices like it’s a two-for-one sale on discount bananas. Who knew the retail giant was the new economic hero that America didn’t know it needed? As Walmart recently issued a dire warning that the price of essential goods, from the humble banana to the ever-crucial child car seat, could skyrocket due to Trump’s recently imposed tariffs, the President responded with the kind of fervor typically reserved for a heated debate over the best ice cream flavor. “You can handle it, Walmart! Remember when you charged $0.29 for a can of beans? You’ve got this!” he tweeted, with the fervor of a discount-loving patriot. The President claimed that it was unfair for American families to bear the brunt of inflated prices when Walmart was more than capable of eating the costs. "If you're selling mass quantities of bananas, a little extra here and there should be a piece of cake!" he exclaimed, apparently unaware that cake prices were also on the rise. Economists, meanwhile, scratched their heads in unison. “It’s almost poetic,” one quipped. “He wants Walmart to absorb costs while suggesting that the price of goods be something akin to fall foliage—beautiful, but inevitably going up.” Walmart, for its part, expressed concern over the President’s whimsical economic strategies. “We appreciate the President’s confidence in our ability to gobble down costs,” read a statement. “However, even we cannot keep our prices as low as his expectations without resorting to some experimental banana economics.” As the situation unfolds, grocery carts across the nation stand at the ready, bracing for the potential explosive price changes. Citizens are urged to stockpile their beloved snack foods, and rumor has it that people are hoarding kid-sized car seats almost as if they were the last lifeboat on the Titanic. Critics have taken to social media to question if Trump would also be willing to propose that high-end retailers like Gucci or Prada “just absorb” the cost of their luxurious goods, perhaps suggesting a new fashion line aptly titled “Economic Resilience.” In related news, Trump has also suggested that aircraft manufacturers should consider selling air travel tickets at the price of a pint of milk, a move the aviation industry is currently mulling over. “It’s all about making America affordable again!” he concluded. So stay tuned, America, as the saga of tariffs, bananas, and presidential suggestions continues to unfold. But remember, if life hands you overpriced bananas, just tweet about it and demand Walmart turn it into a buy-one-get-one-free deal!