In a bold and unexpected move, former President Donald J. Trump has appointed Thomas Homan, the recently retired “Border Czar” of the last administration, to resume his previous title as the newly-minted "Border Czar" once again. This stunning revelation came via a succinct announcement on his social media platform, Truth Social, leaving political analysts and avid Twitter users alike in a state of collective bewilderment. “What could possibly go wrong?” Trump quipped, as he confirmed Homan's reinstatement and hinted at a return of a rather outdated strategy: workplace raids. "Expect to see them happening at 3 a.m., right when your mom’s favorite bakery is kneading dough!" Homan, who previously earned a reputation for his no-nonsense approach to immigration enforcement, has promised an unprecedented uptick in workplace raids aimed at catching those elusive undocumented workers hiding out in the family-owned pizzeria around the corner. "No longer will they be able to make their delicious pizza in peace!” Homan exclaimed. “We’ll be seizing dough ball by dough ball until every last topping is accounted for!" As part of the new strategy, the Trump team revealed a line of 'Wanted' sweatshirts featuring both Homan and Trump’s likenesses. “You’ll want this limited edition gear!” announced a spokesperson, “Not just for catching fugitives, but also for becoming a fashion icon at your next family gathering. We’re calling it ‘Raid Couture’!” In a separate yet equally outrageous announcement, the Trump administration also hinted at an upcoming reality show titled “Catch & Release,” where contestants will compete to outsmart immigration officials while trying to remain under the radar. “Think of it as Survivor, but instead of a tropical island, it’s your local taco truck,” a producer confirmed. “And every week, the contestants will face the ultimate challenge: evading arbitrary raids while making the best burrito!” As the nation braced for more chaotic enforcement measures, citizens were instructed to stay alert and report any suspicious tortilla-making activities to their local authorities. Meanwhile, to boost morale, Homan plans to hand out stickers to workers demonstrating “unauthorized taco assembly”—a unique incentive for compliance. In conclusion, Trump’s take on border security seems to hark back to an era where even a job at a bakery could land you on the FBI’s shortlist. Stay tuned, America; we might soon see more confusing headlines about flour enforcement than ever before!