In a move that has left many scratching their heads and others rolling in laughter, President-elect Donald Trump has appointed Jamieson Greer as the next US trade representative, reigniting fears of more "Greer-ious" trade wars. Observers are already dusting off their “Tariff Tactician” bingo cards in anticipation of what’s to come. Greer, who previously served as chief of staff under trade representative Robert Lighthizer during Trump’s first term, is best known for his keen ability to turn simple trade discussions into international soap operas. Under his guidance, tariffs soared higher than Trump’s infamous hairstyle, particularly against China, giving birth to a new genre of trade batters, aptly dubbed “Tariff Rock Stars.” “Jamieson is the kind of guy who can make even the hardest negotiations feel like a day at the prom,” said one anonymous source who seemed to have stumbled into the interview while looking for a bathroom. “Expect lots of dramatic pauses, grand gestures, and unexpected exits from crucial talks to grab some fast food—because let’s be real, who can negotiate on an empty stomach?” When asked about the potential consequences of Greer’s appointment, trade experts began brainstorming their resumes for alternative careers — preferably in underwater basket weaving, as they figured a trade war would leave them pondering the meaning of life and the value of artisanal crafts. As history has shown, Greer’s previous term saw the implementation of the US-Mexico-Canada Agreement (USMCA), which many believed was an attempt to distract the public from the larger tariffs looming overhead like a cloud shaped suspiciously like China. “It’s genius,” said one industry analyst. “You throw in a shiny new agreement, and people forget all about the fact that their favorite electronics are now a small fortune!” While critics have raised concerns about Greer’s aggressive approach to trade, claiming it might lead us down a road to economic destruction, supporters are excited about a new chapter of "Greer-ious" negotiations. “Nothing says negotiation quite like a good ol’ fashioned trade war,” declared one enthusiastic member of the Trump administration. “We need to show these countries who’s boss—even if that means eating ramen for the next decade!” As countries around the world prepare for the fallout from this appointment, one thing is certain: the next few years will provide ample material for political cartoons and late-night talk show segments. So, stock up on your popcorn, folks—this comedy of errors is just getting started!