In a bold move that has stunned political analysts and caused spontaneous applause from boardrooms across America, President-elect Donald Trump unveiled his latest strategy for government reform: appointing tech moguls and entrepreneurs to key positions in his administration. In a press conference held at a luxurious golf resort, Trump announced Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, as the head of the newly established Department of Government Efficiency. Joining Musk in this groundbreaking venture is Vivek Ramaswamy, a self-made entrepreneur known for his biopharmaceutical acumen and for singing the praises of the free market, even when rhyming doesn't come naturally. “Why rely on politicians who can’t balance a budget when we have billionaires who can turn a profit on Mars?” Trump quipped, sporting a red tie that seemed to pulse with enthusiasm. Observers noted that the tie may also have been made by SpaceX engineers, as it was inexplicably adorned with tiny rockets. The duo’s first mission? To dismantle the cumbersome machinery of federal bureaucracy in a way that would make even the most avant-garde Silicon Valley startups green with envy. “We’re not just slashing regulations; we’re using them as paper airplane materials—creative and efficient!” Musk declared, explaining his plans to apply SpaceX’s pioneering approach to interplanetary travel to federal agencies. “If we can land a rocket on Mars, surely we can figure out why the DMV takes so long,” he added, while fiddling with a prototype of the world’s first interstellar driver's license. Ramaswamy chimed in, assuring the public that they were going to revolutionize the government as they knew it. “We’ll pivot to ‘unregulation.’ We’re talking about an economy where folks can conduct business under a palm tree without a single permit! Who needs checks and balances when checks are so last decade?” Ramaswamy stated, gesturing enthusiastically as he paradoxically reminded everyone about fiscal responsibility. Critics of this appointment were quick to express their disbelief, questioning how individuals who excelled in the cutthroat world of corporate capitalism could possibly manage the complexities of federal governance. “What do they know about public service? They haven’t even spent a day in a government office!” one disillusioned political analyst lamented while clinging to a “Make Politicians Great Again” T-shirt. Yet, supporters embraced the idea with open arms. “Finally, some real ideas!” exclaimed one enthusiastic Trump supporter. “These guys understand profit margins. If Elon can get humans to Mars, think about what he can do with my tax dollars! Maybe a free trip to the moon instead of a refund?” As the conference closed, Musk declared that his first move would be to replace the word “government” with “startup” in all federal documents. Ramaswamy nodded vigorously, likely drafting campaign slogans in the back of his mind while simultaneously trying to convince Musk of the merits of an "Equity for Everyone" initiative. And so, America holds its breath as two titans from the corporate realm stride into Washington, equipped with a vision to tackle inefficiency with all the gusto of a company meeting infused with cold brew and enthusiasm. As this uncharted chapter of American governance unfolds, those in power find themselves wondering: in the age of CEOs ruling the roost, what next—angel investors in Congress?