In a bold move that has left many scratching their heads, former President Donald Trump announced today the creation of a brand new cabinet-level agency: the Department of Rhetoric and Reality (DRR). Positioned as the antidote to what he termed the “Radical” Department of Education, the DRR aims to address what Trump described as a critical national need for “truth, common sense, and a whole lot of winning.” According to a fact sheet released by the White House, the Department of Rhetoric and Reality will tackle educational content that deviates from what Trump deemed “real America.” The plan is to replace current educational standards with a curriculum that emphasizes “basic facts,” “good old-fashioned American values,” and, of course, “the art of the deal.” Trump expressed optimism that the DRR will enable students to graduate knowing that “the Earth is flat if they choose to believe it.” Education Secretary Linda McMahon, known for her stellar record in professional wrestling, will be at the helm of these new cutbacks. McMahon, who has long claimed that she’s “wrestled with the issues” of the education system, will now be tasked with slashing the DOE’s budget by 80% while ensuring that students have access to “originalist interpretations” of history and “the truth about climate change—if it exists at all.” In a press conference, Trump stated, “Why should anyone be forced to learn things like critical thinking and science when we can have a fun, reality-based approach? Who needs math when you can have a little artistry in exaggeration?” As the crowd cheered, the former president added that applications for positions at the DRR are available online, where applicants can submit their best catchphrases and a manifesto outlining their views on reality. Critics have voiced concerns that the DRR’s curriculum shifts could lead to a generation of students who confuse “alternative facts” with actual truth. However, Trump reassured supporters that "as long as they can meme responsibly and master the art of soundbites, they’ll have all they need to succeed in the new America." The executive order is expected to be signed on Thursday as a part of “America’s Return to Common Sense Week,” an initiative intended to remind citizens what life was supposed to be like before the “politically correct takeover” of culture and education. In closing remarks, Trump encouraged Americans to “embrace their inner rhetoric,” while also assuring everyone that next year’s Star Wars installment would definitely confirm his rightful place in the galaxy. Not to be left out, a new viral TikTok trend has already emerged, with students creating "Reality Check Dance-offs," where they showcase their best moves while rewriting history in catchy choruses. It seems the future of education has never been so entertaining.