In a groundbreaking development that could change the course of geopolitics faster than you can say “miscommunication,” President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin reportedly convened for a high-stakes call solely aimed at resolving the Ukraine conflict. Sources close to the situation revealed the call started promptly at 10 a.m. ET and was punctuated by Trump’s insistence that they could "wrap this up before lunch." In what some are calling a ‘Power Breakfast’ of diplomacy, Trump reportedly opened the conversation with, “Vlad, my friend, how about we fix this whole Ukraine thing so we can both get back to more important matters? Like playing golf and comparing our tan lines?” The White House further confirmed that as of 10:54 a.m., things were “going well and still in progress,” which is a phrase that, in political jargon, can literally mean anything from “we’re almost there” to “we’re two minutes away from a global incident.” In the meantime, Trump’s new book, "Resolute," is expected to document the call and flag the potential for a golf outing with Putin after successfully resolving the crisis. The book promises readers a behind-the-scenes look at what makes Trump tick in times of international tension, with chapters titled, “Talk Fast, Eat Faster” and “How to Negotiate Peace While Holding a Sandwich.” Political analysts were left scratching their heads—one noted, “I always thought peace negotiations needed to be serious. But if a golf game can sort things out, maybe we’ve been doing it wrong all along.” As the call continued, it was reported that both leaders agreed upon several non-traditional avenues for peace. Top of the list: a joint appearance at a future WWE event, complete with tag-team championship belts for whoever can broker the fastest deal. With lunch creeping closer, Trump reassured the American public via Twitter, “We’re SO CLOSE, folks! If we can settle on some scrumptious buffet options and agree on the right sandwich shop, we might just call it a day—peace and pita wraps for everyone!” As the nations hold their breath, insiders are speculating that the outcome of this historic dinner (er, conversation) may shift the world order yet again—depending largely on whether Trump can find a decent sushi place.