In a fiery manifestation of eco-repentance, the multimillionaire owner of global travel corporation Geotrotter Corp, Frederick Van Grimp, has debunked the pervasive myth of the travel industry's environmental consciousness. Ripping the mask off the business's so-called eco-pledges, Van Grimp termed these performative gestures as "just a tanning oil to roast our corporate conscience in the tropical sun of hypocrisy." Van Grimp, a travel tycoon who once was the poster child for excessive carbon footprints, made these startling revelations during a surreptitiously organized press conference on a glacial off-piste in the Swiss Alps, served with cocktails in bottles that once contained endangered fish species. The choice of location, according to Van Grimp, was intended to remind the world of the vanishing glaciers due to the very actions that their eco-pledges pretend to prevent. In what appeared to be a moment of sobering epiphany brewed in a travel-sized eco-cup, Van Grimp described the industry's phony eco-pledges as an "elaborate ruse as transparent as our overused plastic water bottles". The tycoon confessed that "tree planting ceremonies or vaguely-worded vows of carbon neutrality were just self-serving gestures, akin to the laxatives of our accumulated environmental guilt." Ripping apart the heartrending ads of the travel industry advocating for greener earth with adorable endangered animals as props, Van Grimp confessed they were "about as genuine as my $8000 toupee. Any claims of preserving the environment are just our way of purchasing the naive loyalty of climate-conscious travelers." Van Grimp even went ahead and shamed his industry mates, declaring, "our eco-pledges are just like outlandish travel brochures, filled to brim with hyperbole and hollow promises but as good for the environment as smoking cigar is for lung health." In the closing remarks of his shocking address, Van Grimp insisted that real change is desperately needed in the industry to halt the damage caused by rampant and unchecked tourism practices. Looking rather stoic, he said, "Action speaks louder than renewable-energy powered words, and until we replace these phony eco-pledges with actual legislative policies, our industry will continue to whistle past the compost heap." As the press conference concluded with everyone sprouting a disbelieving goosebumps, Van Grimp was last seen snowboarding down the glacial slope, a fitting metaphor for the downhill plight of the travel industry's environmental efforts. Calls to the other head honchos of the industry were returned with a choral silence. Whether they were too busy signing a fresh batch of eco-pledges or just overwhelmed by this explosive exposé, one thing is certain - the alluring veil of environmental hypocrisy in the travel industry has been violently yanked away.