Title: 'Just-Add-Water Muscles! Flush Out Your Fat with This Silly Water Trick' Calling all water enthusiasts - those who live to guzzle H2O in all its clod, warm, room-temperature, or even slightly lukewarm glory. Are you tired of boring traditional workouts, sweating endlessly on the treadmill while going nowhere? Tired of counting reps until you see stars? Have we got a treat for you - prepare to learn the secrets of the "Just-Add-Water Muscles" program. I can almost hear it now. Your brain cells are screaming, "Is this just another joke? Like the time when Aunty Jane shared that "Aliens have been discovered living in Big Macs" article on Facebook? Well, my fluid-loving friends, it isn't. You won't believe how easy it is to build lean, mean muscle from the comfort of your kitchen sink, one glass at a time. Step 1: Drink Water The first step of our program may shock you to your tepid water drinking core. It's - you guessed it - drinking water! Not just sips here and there, but really gulping down the stuff. The more you drink, the heavier you become, isn't it? (Psst, we're self-declared scientists, trust us.) And what does heavier mean? It means your muscles are now working overtime carrying around all that additional water weight. And when muscles work, they grow! Step 2: Do the Water Jog Where most fitness gurus may suggest you to juice cleanse until kale starts growing from your ears, the "Just-Add-Water Muscles" program takes a novel approach. It includes exercises that you'll enjoy for their creativity and effectiveness. Our favorite? Water jogs. That's right, strap on those joggers, fill a backpack with as many half-liter bottles of water as you can handle and... you jog. Simple as that. You might hear laughter or hyenas in the distance, but don't be alarmed - they're just jealous of your muscles in the making! Step 3: Bottle Lifting Naturally, we wouldn't let you wade through life's waters without some form of weight training. And thankfully, this too involves our favourite, flexible friend - H2O! You'll be lifting those water bottles you just jogged with. Aim for reps of 50, or if you're feeling particularly sprightly, 100. Sips between sets are allowed (and encouraged!) Now you might be thinking, this doesn't sound scientific or even halfway reasonable! But isn't that exactly what they said about the Flat Earth theory and crystal healing, too? (Okay, maybe not the best examples...) Detractors would argue it's impossible to sculpt muscles from water alone, but to those skeptics we say: have you ever attempted to lift a full bathtub? Exactly. The guidelines of "Just-Add-Water Muscles" will revolutionize your fitness world, winning the war against weight loss in the most watery fashion possible. So forget about pumping iron, simply pump water instead! Get your reusable bottles ready, friends, and let's make water-weight the new deadweight. Disclaimer: Even though this plan is as harmless as a unicorn, please remember that this is a satirical piece. All health and workout regimes must be vetted by a healthcare professional.