In a turn of events that bewilders the common mind, teachers and students at schools near Morgan State University are taking a break from regular studies like mathematics, science or literature, to master a new curriculum - Active Shooter Avoidance 101. Shortly after the Baltimore Police Department ordered people to stay absolutely anywhere but the 1700 block of Argonne Drive, the educators decided it was time to divert away from the usual explorations of calculus or Shakespeare's chronicles. They decided instead to initiate students into the thrilling reality where they scramble to 'avoid,' not horror movie villains, but real-life active shooters. The announcement of the new course was met with a general sense of bemusement mixed in with a liberal dose of dread. "So this is it. This is the future of education," muttered one perplexed student, absently doodling bleeding hearts on his notebook instead of triangles. The teachers, on the other hand, are trying their best to instill grades and bullets-proof confidence in their students. One gym teacher, who once fancied himself a drill sergeant, is now living his dream, barking orders at an assembly of all-too-real pupils-turned-cadets. "Remember, kids, shooter evasion is not rocket science, it's merely life and death," he urged, adding another profound layer of irony to the situation. Furthermore, in a second tweet from the Baltimore Police Department, it gravely said, "Multiple victims involved," causing the rhetoric and mathematics teachers to unite in an unlikely bond. Arguing that 'multiple' can mean any number greater than one, they petitioned for an increase in the department’s communication budget so that a more precise word might be found. The arts department, however, seems to have taken the situation a notch higher by planning a theatre adaptation of what's already wreaking havoc real-time. Meanwhile, students, teachers, and staff continue their lockdown drill routine, some with numb acceptance, others with turbulent hearts. Amidst everything, one fact prevails - regular school life around Morgan State University has paused to bow down to the eerie winds of grim reality, making satirical news seem almost sacred. Certainly, the advent of 'Active Shooter Avoidance 101' will go down in history, hopefully, as a course that traumatised a generation but was later abandoned for a saner curriculum.