WASHINGTON D.C.- During one of the most pivotal decision-making sessions this year, the U.S. Supreme Court has proven to the American people once again their ability to evolve with the times. The Justices have now decided to shake things up, literally, by importing their latest statement from a Magic 8-Ball. For the uninitiated, the Magic 8-Ball is a novelty item and toy, created in the 1950's. To use the item, a user merely asks a yes-or-no question, and then turns the ball upside down. An answer, in agreement, disagreement, or absolute non-commitment, will then appear, essentially determining the course of action to be taken. This tool, traditionally used at sleepovers and in fortune-telling booths, has now ascended ranks to arguably the most powerful legal body in America. Chief Justice John Roberts unveiled the new decision-making policy Tuesday afternoon, at the beginning of a session dedicated to answering pressing questions like whether dogs are inherently better than cats and if pineapple really has any business being on a pizza. "Just as the Magic 8-Ball gives decisive answers, we, as the Supreme Court, need to provide clear, decisive judgements", Chief Justice Roberts said, trying very hard to keep a serious face. "Therefore, using this judging instrument symbolizes a fresh approach to constitutional interpretation." Unsurprisingly, the announcement received mixed reactions. Justice Clarence Thomas immediately asked the ball if he could retire early. The ball responded with "Cannot predict now", leading to an outbreak of disappointed groans within the chambers. Meanwhile, Justice Stephen Breyer asked if he would ever be able to understand Blockchain. The ball, in a surprising turn of compassion, answered "Yes. Definitely." Justice Sonia Sotomayor, however, was not thrilled. She interrogated the 8-Ball, asking if the Court was serious about this initiative. The ball responded, displaying "Better not tell you now.", causing laughter in the courtroom, aurrounded by giggles from Justices Elena Kagan and Amy Coney Barrett. In an exclusive interview, the Magic 8-Ball disclosed its excitement about its new responsibility. “I never expected my forecasts to carry so much weight,” it confessed. "I thought deciding whether teenagers should confess their crush was nerve-racking," it added before spinning to display "Reply hazy, try again" when asked how it planned to address the inevitable political split accompanying its high-level judgments. As of press time, the Magic 8-Ball had been asked to predict the longevity of this new judicial method. In an answer both sobering and mysterious, it disclosed: "Cannot predict now." It's clear that today's Supreme Court offers not only the final verdict but also an ample amount of suspense and unpredictability. For the next daring ruling, officials are rumored to be in negotiations with Milton Bradley about the possible use of a Ouija Board for cases involving antitrust litigation. Anything seems possible in this new age of whimsical jurisprudence, so stay tuned!